one last paper to go...

1 paper down.. 1 paper gone case... 4 more to go..

~Kelun's Qoute of the day~

When they set the paper at this standard, it doesnt matter if u study or not.. the paper is still blank.

there's always a first time for everything ppl say... today i experience my first.. first time submitting nothing for a major paper... yah.. that's my great achievement today... it's computing... stupid programming... cant understand anything.. cant do anything.. and so i made history today... blank submission.. hahahaa... duhzZ...

haven been going to school lately... i have by my own officially declared study period.. but the catch is i am not studying yet... i'm just piling a very very big snowball now... and i wonder how it will collapse in a few weeks time..

anyway.. i have been doing nothing... i actually done something.. i have more or less completed my part of the finanacial accounting project... wat's left is only compilation and some editing.. yah...

next week will be my biggest hurdle before the exams... i have programing practical exam.. having not written a single program during the whole term... the mention of programing scares the wits out of me.. i really wonder how i am going to even hope to pass that module... we shall see...

life is never easy... why cant it be... some people seem to get a very difficult start in life... but somehow things turn out excellent for them... that's wat a third party will think... wat they dun see is that... when things get difficult.. they work harder...

whereas my case may jus tbe the exact opposite... life started out pretty nicely... i do well in almost everything.. but as the going get tough... i crumble.. is it because.. my initial road was too smooth.. so now i couldnt take any hardship? i hope not.. or maybe i just have more optimism in life... and that everything no matter wat will just turn out fine... I hope so... really hope so... recently.. i'm a loafer.. i do nothing.. although not literally nothing.. but practically it's nothing meaningful...

recently, the greeting phrase i get most often is "hey, where have u been? i haven seen u in a long time"... this made me realised something.. the way i have lived for the past few months.. in almost total isolation from outside world with the exception of yanli and my family... almost no contact with other frens... it actually sounds rather sad when i heard that phrase... it makes me wonder.. how much i have missed.. how much of the life of ppl around me i have missed.. not that it's really impt.. but.. it suppose to make our lives more meaningful..

if this period of isolation was actually well spent burying myself in the stacks of notes and tutorials... i would say it's really time well spent.. but that was not the case... that WAS the initial aim.. but... like wat u shld have realised by now... i haven really been able to reach any of my targets or aims...

tenghui ask me a question today... "wat is ur definition of success?" i told him i din know.. but i actually have quite a clear idea of wat a successful ME shld be... i would be rich.. wealthy.. powerful and well-liked... things around me are always well done... although i had an answer.. but i was ashamed to say it.. why ?? cos it seems wishful thinking.. very wishful.. anyway... he told me his definition... it would be "being able to achieve wat you set out to do" that would be a success... i almost laughed at myself... cos if u apply that to me... i would be very UNSUCCESSFUL now.. and i think i really am...

it's really been a very very long time since i last touched a volleyball.. i still love the game.. but i look at myself... i'm ashamed of my physical state... i'm a fat slob.. looking at the positive side... i may be the most agile and quickest person in the weight category.. but here's the problem... ppl in my weight category are sumo wrestlers.. HAhAhAAaaa...

have wrote so much in a long time... it seems i have more words to depress myself today... but anyway... i received a touching message today... from someone close to me.. tellimg me something that i din expect her to tell me on the day it happened.. so i'm really happy for that... little things make me feel that "I" matter.. thanks..

~crap of the day~
Mr A : Hi, I'm a representative from Singapore Toastmasters.
Mr B : Oh, hi. Are you the one selling toasters?? The Toastmaster 2006??

p.s. Toastmasters is an international association which specialises in public speaking.. just so u ppl know..