it's been awhile... i've been to malaysia over the weekend... the car rally was really quite boring... the only exciting part was the driving... finally i realise how small singapore is and how big malaysia is... and because of it's vastness, i can speed!! the legal speed limit is 110km/h can u believe that? call me sua gu.. but that's super exciting lar.. and the roads there all single lane one... den got alot of benbs and slopes... like initial D.. but this time got too many ppl on the car.. cannot drive crazily.. hahaha... anyway we got 3rd.. won $60 petrol voucher.. so so lame... i also got a taste of malaysia corruption... i was stopped along one of the roads... and booked for speeding.. that was crap lar.. i was travelling well well below the speed limit at the point.. but he insisted i was speeding.. and ask us to pay 300rm initially... but in the end he settled for 100rm.. so so disappointing...

today drove back to hall.. and i moved EVERYTHING back home liaoZZ.. yeah... 1 day gao dim.. by myself... yeah... i'm gonna revamp my room... rearrange everything... make it more working.. now it's only good for sleeping..

yesterday was supposed to go to bbq with tj vball ppl.. BUT!! i went to the wrong coasta sands... i went to the east coast one.. but they were at the pasir ris one.. so too bad lor.. no fate... so me and dear went to east coast waraku to eat.. good and cheap and big portion... shiok.. hehee...

so now.. i'm home... my first sem in NUS is kindda over... this is how i feel about my first term back in sch..

Social -

I had lots of difficulty trying to make frens.. it's may be cos of my course, most pple go lecture and tutorials in grps... so no getting to know of ppl except in CTW class.. CTW more interactive... so gotta know pple from there... think closest are my 2 grpmates... without them... i guess i would be much more helpless with my homework...

in hall, i missed orientation rather on purpose... which i believe is actually my biggest mistake... that made my interaction very hard in future, cos others were already in their own cliques... there i was kindda alone again... luckily i already knew some pple in hall.. but then still i was alone... in my room alone most of the time... breakfast alone... dinner alone... i have not had a single dinner nor breakfast with any of my hall-mates... wat a failure...

Study -

after 3 years of break from studying, being back in school is like a cultural shock... numbers make no sense... equations make no sense... physics make no sense... this term exam is exactly the result of my lost of touch... my expectations are low.. hopes are not high either.. so disappointment shldnt be too great... i hope.. after years of being ahead in the class... i find myself... at the bottom supporting everyone else above me... it sucks...

Volleyball -

volleyball in nus seems recreational for me... tell me to train competitively... i dun think i can do it or want to do it... i just dun have the hunger to train for such a goal... i no long have a direction in volleyball.. i dunno wat i want..

Overall -

i'm now in a state of ZERO motivation for anything and everything.. i have no idea wat i want.. i have no urge to do anything... no drive... no aim... no life... it suxX....

in exactly 2 hrs time.... my last paper for my first term exam will begin... and 2 hrs after that... all will be over... "the rice will be cooked" ; "the chicken will be slaughtered"... muahaha... life will be back to it's sloth-like state... hahahaa... nonono... must not be sloth-like anymore... must change.. make everyday a more meaningful day.... live everyday such that when the day ends, and i look back, i can say i have done something today... yes... that will be it... sleepingis considered something rite?? hahahaaa.....

feel a little better for my statics paper... hahaa.. cos i actually finished the whole paper... yah... it's open book paper... i like open book... hahahaa... cos can finish doing...

so one more paper left.... maths!! only one paper left to do!! yeah...

There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn

finished my Critical thinking and writing paper liaozZ... now that leaves me with just 2 more paper and my exams will be over... over as in time... as well as over in grades... i foresee myself looking at my first failure in a major exam in my 23 years... i doubt i can imagine how i would be feeling..

spent the weekend rotting... watching movie with dear dear and e rest of it sleeping.. on average i slept 30++ hrs this weekend... whahaa...

harry potter was okay only.. not fantastic... i haven read the book.. but i could tell a lot wasnt in the show.. i guess there's just too much details in the book and the movie seems kindda rush... yah.. that's the feeling it gave me... too many loose ends...

den sunday went to watch sky high... actually tot it would be quite a lame show.. but it turned out fine.. dear thinks its entertaining.. i think it's slightly more entertaining den harry potter.. hahaa.. maybe too much expectations for harry potter...

oh yah.. if u notice the pictures below.. i've got a new phone.. samsung x200... got it at $20 dollars after trade-it.. talk about having hp to the basics... this is it... no camera, no photo ID, no 2nd LCD, no sent items folder... but it's okay... at least it fits my requirement for a phone.. and it looks damn cool... and it's really the lightest phone around now.. whahaaa.... and most impt of all.. CHEAP!!

i got new phone....

Aftermath of 1 paper

whahaa... finished physics liaozZ.... the paper is over.. and 1 down... literally down... fail.. confirm fail... even praying wun help... cos i left too much blank... this is ridiculous... spent the whole week studying it yet this is the result... why?? i'm not dum... but... WHY!!! basically i am gonna fail physics... and all thanks to one word... ENTROPY... people out there who dunno wat that is.. well... people who intend to study physics in UNI... know it.. cause it just made me fail physics for not knowing it... KAOZzZZzz!!! 1 word...

watever it is... it's one paper down... still got 3 more left... disastrous start to uni life... disastrous start to my exams... well.. heck it...

now going out.. gonna go eat.. den watch harry potter with dear dear...

and btw... i dun want and overgrown hermit crab... i prefer them small...

spent the whole day trying to do the stupid statics online tutorial.... just realised that statics shld be the module i'm most afraid off.. why?? cos there's no where for me to practice... even though it's open book, it's unlikely there will be time for me to flip through the pages for a solution... kaozZ.. it sucks... wanted to finish reading up on my physics so that can start on doing past yr paper... but.. haven finish. or rather haven really started lor... duhzZ.... jiayou...

soon.. very soon it will all be over... muahahaa.... i want a pet to play with... my dear dear not fun enough.. hahaa... i want something furry and huggable... non-naggy... can i have garfield?? bboozZ...

finally finished all my maths lectures... task for tml.... start on physics.. my weakest module... and my 1st paper also... hack it DOWN!!! muahahaa...

just came back home after watching movie with dear... watched "a lot like heaven" it's a very nice show... very sweet.. very heartwarming... very nice lar... basically, if u wanna feel good.. go watch the show... although it does have a rather predictable plot... but who could blame them after the rigorous development of the movie industires... writers do run out of ideas.. anyway, this plot does seem like a rip off from a few other classic movies... not that it's bad.. the result was quite pleasant actually... ignoring the fact that it may not be original.. but who cares?? as long as u feel good after the show.. hahaa... so young gals out there, i think this is the show for u now.. hahaa.. well guys.. u know wat to do... bring them to the show lar!! duhzZ..

time to go sleep and tml gotta hit the lectures again...

up! up!! and away!!!

finally i studied... after so many weeks of slacking and rotting.. i am studying finally... still got 5 more hrs of maths lecture to cover... followed by 24 chapters of physics... and 2 books of statics and mechanics... not to forget i have to do sample / pass-yr papers... so much to do... i'm not complaining... i think i might be able to finish with a little luck.. and with more love.. hehee... so yah... thanks dear... hahaa.....

song of my day...

JS - 我比想像中爱你

飞得越远走看不见 你阳光下灿烂的笑脸
在天和海之间那条界线 慢慢地走远
你曾经是我的地平线

你有没有一点想念 我们一起去年的夏天
有种爱的感觉在心里面 那么地强烈
而这一切好像只是昨天

我才发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
还是不可否认地 我比想像中爱你

浪花掠过沙滩边境(海风就像你的呼吸)
我又看见我们的脚印(那曾是回忆的痕迹)
如果遇见幸福的机率要千万分之一
不顾一切 也要找回你

我才发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒 还是不可否认地
我比想像中爱你

终于发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒 还是不可否认地
我比想像中爱你

exactly 2 more weeks to my first paper.. whahaaa.... dying dying... i'm so DEAD...

i think i;m gonna waste another week again... 2 hols this week and yet.. it doesnt sound good to me.. cos tues and thurs are my usual self-declared free days... so yah.. like no diff...

it's NOVEMBER!! 16 more days to my first paper... and i still have not started studying.. whahaa... am i god or am i an idiot?? i like this song...


Joan Osbourne - If God was One Of Us

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome