so now.. i'm home... my first sem in NUS is kindda over... this is how i feel about my first term back in sch..

Social -

I had lots of difficulty trying to make frens.. it's may be cos of my course, most pple go lecture and tutorials in grps... so no getting to know of ppl except in CTW class.. CTW more interactive... so gotta know pple from there... think closest are my 2 grpmates... without them... i guess i would be much more helpless with my homework...

in hall, i missed orientation rather on purpose... which i believe is actually my biggest mistake... that made my interaction very hard in future, cos others were already in their own cliques... there i was kindda alone again... luckily i already knew some pple in hall.. but then still i was alone... in my room alone most of the time... breakfast alone... dinner alone... i have not had a single dinner nor breakfast with any of my hall-mates... wat a failure...

Study -

after 3 years of break from studying, being back in school is like a cultural shock... numbers make no sense... equations make no sense... physics make no sense... this term exam is exactly the result of my lost of touch... my expectations are low.. hopes are not high either.. so disappointment shldnt be too great... i hope.. after years of being ahead in the class... i find myself... at the bottom supporting everyone else above me... it sucks...

Volleyball -

volleyball in nus seems recreational for me... tell me to train competitively... i dun think i can do it or want to do it... i just dun have the hunger to train for such a goal... i no long have a direction in volleyball.. i dunno wat i want..

Overall -

i'm now in a state of ZERO motivation for anything and everything.. i have no idea wat i want.. i have no urge to do anything... no drive... no aim... no life... it suxX....