went back to tj today for vball.. it has been awhile since i went back for training... quite a few old boys came back too... our main purpose was to play match with the current team... yah all was well until the 4th set when ron made a super ridiculous service error... we got the service over... but zai was so pissed he kicked the ball into the ceiling... one of the boards fell... well i think the error was ridiculous but the reaction to it was even more ridiculous.... worst still was while i was trying to tell zai that this was a small thing no need to flare... rubin was there claiming this is not a small thing.. it's big... super pissed with rubin... wat the hell does he want?? go lar go give the kids a piece of ur mind... wat for??? i got so pissed i lost control... i flared up.. starting shouting at him... think i scared quite a few ppl then... yah... ultimately i dun think it's up to him to react the way he did... say watever he wants or threatened to not come down for training anymore... haizZ... wat the hell....

remember when i said "the tj gals have a good chance of getting into the placings for Adiv this year and the guys no much chance... really have to pray, if dun have religion it's time to get one"?? yah... the gals were knocked out in the first round... cos they cracked... while the guys have a very very powerful religion called LADY LUCK... and she's been smiling very brightly on them since the start of the competitions... super easy groupings all the way... and they really peaked their performance today.... today's a very exciting day at CCAB... tj guys are into the finals... they have just beaten aj 3-2... a super super close affair... neck and neck all the way.... i just have to say they are just mentally very strong... that's wat won the game... it's not superior skills... maybe lucky play a few parts here and there... rather comical sometimes... those who were there would know... those who werent there, u missed possibly the most exciting match of the season... ridiculous refereeing thou... hahaa... total comedy... i'm totally impressed with their attitude today... they got back whenever they trailed and they just kept on fighting... but somehow i believe somewhere in them they are doing this for the gals too... they wanna win it for them too... yah... but yah.. super impressed.... nothing much to say... i guess many of the gals will be thinking if only they were thru to the finals too... well... if they had the spirit the guys had today... the championship would be theirs to take... saw eunice today... she was really excited when tj won... she'll always be a part of us... and her knees... wat's all those plaster for?? hahahaa... k lar... guess now we'll just have to stay tuned for the finals.. 11th May, Toa Payoh Stadium...... still dunno wat time yet...

today's shld be one of the funnest day recently... eileen, lisi, lihui and weifeng came my house to watch dvd... watched freaky friday... very funny... think weifeng's very funny too... den the other 3 always like bully her... haha... den i just sit there watch.. like watching 2 comedies going on... whahaa... before coming to my house we all met downstairs to eat dim sum while waiting for lihui.. she was slow... hahaa... after that somemore ordered canadian pizza to eat while watcing movie... these gals eat so much wun go fat one... metabolism rate damn high... not like me... hahaa... yah... order extra large hawaiian and meat lovers... managed to finish everything somemore... after the show i sent all of them home...

but that's not the end of the day... i met up with dear... den we went chinatown to meet her frens at kster... den sing for 2 hrs... hahaa... very long never go ktv liaozZ.. so quite shuang.. and somemore like quite cheap leh... think they got voucher or something... not even $20... and her frens started singing form 7pm... we left at 1230am... cheap rite?? but the system there not really wonderful lar.... screen sometimes can hang one... hahaaa...

i have MIA'd for sometime liaozZ... have been hermitising myself... it's a new word i came up with... hermitising-cooping oneself at home.... haha... yah have been at home for almost a week... lying on my bed most of the time... sleeping as if i'm hibernating... i'm really quite good at it.. haven been to watch the guys match didnt really attract me to it leh... tomolo one den see... a real match... they haven been lucky since the start of the competition... let's see how they size up against real opponents tml...

esther's birthday today... went to find her for lunch... she asked her fren along... but dunno why like very awkward... din talk much... just eat eat den leave liaozZ... precisely not the lunch i was looking for.. but maybe too tired din wanna interact... yah... shld be ba... hope she had something fun on her birthday...

went to NUS for medical after lunch... rather bo liaozZ check up.. height weight pressure urine x-ray... yah.. stuff liddat... went excursion at sheares after the checkup... zai & rubin brought me around... and taught me a trick to wash clothes.. cheapskates but i'll do it too.. hahaa...

still havent got over the fact that the gals are out... was wondering how many of them went home to cry their hearts our under their blankets... well i didnt... tears were welling up though... but all i did was stare at the celling... still feel sad... though not too sure if i was sad for them or sad for myself...

today's dear's birthday... brought her to bongo burger... wondering where it is?? it's a burger joint at night safari... really nice burgers only 2nd to billy bombers... quite ex for a fast food... but it's nice... realised there is a ben&jerry outlet there too... for ice-cream lovers, u can get ben&jerry's at the zoo & night safari... or somewhere near u at a major supermarket, though not as many flavours as the outlet... dinner was great.. nice atmosphere.. a little dark... but nice.. oh yah.. din feel any mosquitoes... lot's of tourists at night safari...

went cineleisure for movie.. watched Spanglish... liked the humour... like the actress Paz Vegas... shes just SOOOOooo attractive.. dear says she's nice too.. hahaa.. bought dear a garfield cushion from cineleisure... for her to hug at her office... still owe her a Mp3-player... gonna get it when the stock comes in at Sim Lim Square... hehee...

tml's gonna be a busy day... firstly... it's esther's bday.. but i still have no idea wat to get her or wat to do for her yet.. haha... den i have to go to NUS for medical checkup.... den i have tuition in the evening... whahaaa...

there was only one purpose for today.. to go watch the A gers win against AJ... they have lost their last match to JJ and i was hoping they would see the light... understand that they no longer have anything to lose... they need to win AJ and win it big to have a CHANCE to get into the second round... i thought they shld have came out of the last game being stronger... being more confident, no more holding back... i somemore wentto tj before CCAB to watch them warm up... they look fine... seems hyped up for the game.. i was happy to see them... i told eileen i wanted to talk to all of them before going to CCAB cos i knew i wun have a chance once we are there.. it will be for the coaches to do their job liaozZ... but now i regret.. guess i shld have said something cos it seems they still dunno wat they are playing for today...

if we say they played poorly on friday, then today would have to be a total disaster... today's match really made them look amateur.. yah.. that's how bad they were today... it seemed to me fung also gave up hope half thru the 2nd set... mentally they are just too weak... skills wise they are in no way poorer that aj... they just lose it as the game started... lihui felt something was wrong starting form the 1st set... so did i as i sat outside looking at them play... sometimes i wonder is there anything i could do if i were on the coaching bench... i would really like to give them a good scolding on the spot... make them wake up... but will it really work?? or will they just breakdown further?

after the match fung, hay and i had a talk with them... i really did know wat to say at first cos i was still bewildered about their performance.. in my eyes they are a quality team... much better den the guys in almost every aspect... although the guys got the easier teams in their group i still expect the gals to be able to qualify... but i was wrong... i gave them a piece of my mind after fung and hay made their points... i guessed i was rather harsh... but i would have be harsher... if not for their teary eyes... guess they are still too young to understand the heartache those coaching staff feel... if we dun care we wun bother coming back so often... if we dun care we wun be there at the matches hoping to see them put up their best performance...

they were tearing even before i said anything... in fact i angry to see them cry... i feel they dun deserve to cry and did not even have the right to cry... i told there straight in their faces that their performance today was not just poor, it's horrifying... and they do not have the right to cry less eileen... cos she did not give up thru'out the competition... i saw her gave up today.. not in herself.. but the players around her... her spikers have totally lost their confidence and fighting spirit... from the 1st dropshot that i saw her made.. i knew she gave up on them.. and that was the end of the game.... she has invested all her confidence in all those in the court with her.. but she failed drastically in that deal... not an ounce of fighting spirit was apparent...

although i scolded them... i really felt a crinching feeling in my chest... my heart really ached... to see them being bowled out the competition liddat.. not even putting up a fight... it just made me feel damn sad... guess i'll be feeling more of these if i really become a coach...

in my 3 yrs in tj... we have always be underachieving... in my 1st yr... we were knocked out in the first round despite being champions the yr before... 2nd yr we only managed 3rd but not many of us had much to regret cos we put up a great fight along the way, kindda like a redemption for the mistake in the 1st year.. in my last yr... we shld have gotten 1st... but i wasnt really much in that team anyway... i was mainly a bench warmer... i was never a first team player maybe i just wasnt good enough... the main reason why i'm back in tj so often is because i missed those days... those days when we were all fighting for something... not for personal glory but just to put of a good fight no matter what kind of opponents we face... that's all i was looking for...

it's been a few days since i blogged.. somehow the com wasnt avail for me... friday was really a sad day i guess... i saw tj gals lost... lost to jj again... at the hands of the same 2 gals that put them out of the competitions last yr.... really i think they could have won if they just played the way the usually play with us.... they were nervous... they looked nervous and move nervously... they are basically rooted to the floor... and they din take the chances they have to kill off the opponents... but credit to jj.. their moral was high and had very few mistakes... now the gals have one last match left for the 1st round.. they have to win it.. and win it big in order to advance to the next round... they face aj... undoubtedly the strongest in their group.... they really need to show championship wining quality if they were to go on... they need to go all out on attack... need to be fearless... and they MUST have CONFIDENCE in themselves... jiayou ba... Impossible is not an option....

had a very sickening day at NUS today... it's a very lousy interview session for me... think i haven blanked out as badly as today before.... super disgusting... said so much but i dun think i made any sense... seriuosly jialat lar... if they let me into the program it only means they think i have lots to improve... hahaa...

din blog yesterday... cant remember why... yesterday went to watch A Div, the guys are playing their 2nd match while the gals are having their first... the guys played much better compared to monday but they were also up against a weaker opponent... they still need to minimise alot of mistakes that they are making... the gals were like i said, more steady... but something was lacking from them... the fighting spirit... it doesnt seem that they have the mentality/urge to win less eileen and isabella... i hope i can see some hunger from them in the next match.... they'll really need it....

today went back tj to help training... kindda mimic'd jj's way of playing... din really think i did a very good job... kindda off today... but i think they understood wat they have to look out for liaozZ lar... we shall see on friday... still think they got chance to get thru....

today's the first day of the a div competitions... reach CCAB only a while before the guys match.. saw the other 2 teams in their group play... not much of a match... it seems their opponents today, MJ was their only worthy opponents in the first round... seems like their prayers are working for them... they shld be able to cruise thru to the 2nd round... but by then they better show improvement in their steadiness... their performance today... some would it's kindda stage fright, some blame it on the ball... i say it's just a poor performance...

also saw a match between aj & jj the 2 other teams in our gals grp... they are strong... aj has a powerful lineup... jj is pretty much unchanged from... but they are getting more accurate at sending the balls to the empty spots... as for aj... they are simply power pact... our gals... i believe they have a chance... cos they are a very equally distributed team... they have a tight defense and also a well varied attack.... just hope they can maintain their form...

haven been bloggin for a few days... first, the excuses.. friday night i was too tired.. den yesterday nite my sis and her frens were hogging onto all the comps.. so got none to use...

now to backdate on my happenings.. friday... went training... din really do much... just went back to play.. my knees are really starting to hurt more and more.. does that mean i'm getting heavier and heavier?? hope not... although i know just hoping doesnt help much but den.... :P

after training went tuition... hay drove me there on the way to meet yinglan for dinner... dunno why they suddenly meeting for dinner also... well.. i shall not probe further... tuition was okay... cos even though she still din do homework.. at least she din shut off during lesson... so still okay...

went home... sent dear home... den picked lisi up for supper... and later yanli too... den we went to rochor to eat "tao huay"... she finally agrees that it's better than the geylang one... but i dun mind the geylang one lar... geylang win with it's varieties on the menu... whereas rochor's only "tao huay".. kindda boring actually...

saturday... i was supposed to go tj to watch the gals play frenly against temasek poly... i could get up... decided i shld rest a little more for my psychometric test at MOE... I'm glad i did..the test was supposed to last from 1.30pm to 5pm... but it only started around 2.45pm.. den at 4.30pm it was only half time... luckily the latter tests werent timed and we could leave as soon as we finished... obviously i did i as fast i could lar... it's only questionnaires... irritating... luckily i met jincai at MOE.. he applied for teaching scholarship too... at least not so bored... the test really tedious lor... pretty much like SAT... not difficult... just that they give a lot of questions and very little time... irritating...

oh yah.. tj gals won 4 out of 5 set of the frenly.. think with this result they shld be all set and prepared for the championships... for the guys... it's time u get a religion if u dun have one...

today... woke up at noon only cos i was suppose to give tuition again.. yupzZ... i din give her any homework last lesson so i din expect much... my aim is to see her do her work... on den i can be sure she really understands the topic... she seems quite at ease with her maths today.. seems like she already noes wat to do... how to do... i assume that's cos she well awake... yah... i wonder how long she can keep up with this sort of attention... hahaa...

4e guys are actually out for lunch to celebrate silie's birthday.. but cos i was having tuition i couldnt go.. i told kaiyu i would be meeting them only after lunch... but he somehow got the wrong msg and tot i was joining them... still i couldnt make it of cos... after tuition i msg kaiyu only to find out he and tenghui have gone home to study... and when i called fuliang.. he's home too!!! ah man!! wat;s wrong with u guys.. hahaa... soon it will be my turn to mug... haha... wonder if i'll ever get use to mugging again.. haha...

haven been doing much these few days... pretty much just rot at home only lor... den go vball training.. tuition also din go... feeling less den half-hearted abt tuition liaozZ... dun think my cousin is appreciating my efforts to help her... somemore complain to her parents.. say i scold her, insult her... wat the hell... this is so disappointing..

these few vball trainings ended with a discussion for june holidays trip... deciding to go taiwan... gonna be alot of suggestions coming out... soon we will find out who's the spoilt brats and who's the mature ones... it's now a question of money... how much can they afford to pay... will they be able to get the $500 from school by getting the championship... i believe the girls are hopeful.. the guys.. think they will need alot of luck...

been out most of the day... went to dear's place to drive her da jie's car to pick her er jie out of hospital.... yah... was out with them most of the day... went yum cha for dim sum with dear, her er jie, er jie fu and si jie... think the har gao very nice... the prawn very big and fresh... yummy yummy... after that drove her er jie fu home den accompanied them to tampines shopping....

reach home 5plus... super tired... zZzz... just now cooked dinner... think it's nice... cos dear and sis finished everything.. hahaa.. even though i cooked quite a lot... :) hahaa...

this morning went to bright hill to pay respects to my grandma.. it's been 5yrs since she left... memories of her are still vivid... had a hard time trying to find parking there... but i was rather proud of myself being able to easily park into a small parallel slot outside the temple... hahaa... somemore my mum say the slot so small can go in or not... haha.. proved her wrong.. no prob at all.. :)

after that went tampines for lunch... okay okay only... nothing fantastic.. just went foodcourt... haha.. go all the way there just for food court... so dum rite?

just received a letter from PSC informing me that i was not shortlisted for their scholarships, but since i showed interest in teaching they have transfer me to MOE for further considerations... i was kindda disappointed i wasnt select even for an interview before they reject me... well... guess competition's too strong?? hope i can get something out of MOE... haha...

had a whole day of vball at tj... quite shuang.. although din really played well during the guys training... but overall okay lar... esther and wanyang was around in the morning too... me really sweat a lot... changed 5 tshirts today... all time high liaozZ.. haha... wet alot of places hahaa... think the girls quite disgusted by my sweat... not i can control one... too bad... think hay seems unlike himself today... din really play well.. den got really fed up... i see liaozZ also sianzZ.... that set.. everyone also play until very sianzZ... very unlike him to flare up den everyone moral just disappear... this is bad.... yah... that's about it...

after vball went dinner with dear at ajisen... very long never eat liaozZ... shuang... hehee...

feel so tired today... been out the whole day... morning sent dear to NTU... den went back to the tuition centre wanted to collect my pay, but boss wasnt there... so went tj first.. so i'm like in tj super early... got there rot a while... see the "small" ones play mahjong... kids nowadays super shiok... hahaa... met up with hay at the bedok camp hawker for lunch... nothing much there leh.. the prawn noodles still not open... suay... malay food wasnt fantastic... yah... after that went back for training.. training was tiring today... first thing i had to do was to stand on the table and spike... that was like super tiring lor... right hand tired... left hand tired... but most tiring are legs... cos stand on table.. scared fall down... wobbly wobbly liaozZ... when playing match, din really had a good game... making alot of silly dumb mistakes... am i just too tired?? think the girls team really have a shot at getting something this year... they need some luck though... alison was playing well today... think she has really improved a lot.. but she really has to watch the ways she goes down... everytime also with kena the knee den will bleed... tsk tsk tsk... wanted to tell her that she really played well.. but dunno how to put it... somemore hay say liaozZ.. so i say somemore like extra.. so yah... she's improving well...

went to the tuition centre after vball.. finally got my pay check.. returned him the keys and i'm done with that tiny little place... hahaaa.... i'm free.. and jobless again.. hahaa...

came home den immediately went for tuition liaozZ... super tired after everything... fell asleep.. so yah.. i just woke up again...

i successfully submitted my essay for USP last nite... and also i have submitted a whole lot of certificates, result slips and testimonial for my scholarship... hope i'll be getting something... :)