final midterm test is over... only worry is for sociology.. see how.. still lagging like mad on lesson pace... need more haste.. but more haste less speed.. and study stamina is dying..

headache, dizzy,sweating like hell, shivering in cold, stomach pain.. that's wat i felt on my way to school... someone should start sounding out to SBS that making buses too cold aint comfort.. it's torture... esp when entering the bus from a warm place.. sudden change in temperatures cause headache, coupled with the jerky bus movements.. really felt like vomiting!!!!!!!! i'm gonna complain to SBS.. NOW!!

i'm a tenth of a ton.. i'm aching everywhere.. my brain is 386..

rhumatism... ouch...

hungry...

alot has happened in the past 10 days... the majority of the past week was spent studying.. mugging... why cos it's mid-term test week... 3 out of 6 papers are this week.. there will be 2 more after the mid-term break... so yah.. now's midterm break.. but my main itinerary for this short break is catch up.. lots of it... and the dummest thing i did this week is missing my programming midterm test.. why?? cos i din check my timetable earlier... all along i tot my paper was saturday afternoon... so when i checked for my sitting arrangement at noon.. i realised the paper was already over in the morning... my solution?? email the lecturer telling him i was sick in the morning... and so i had to spend $26 to go see a doctor and convince him i had diarrhea in the morning.. haha.. works all the time... the only problem now is that i dun even know if there would even be a retest for me.. sobzZ.. this actually gives me some time to study... i totally haven done anyting for programing..not even lectures or tutorials... HAH!!

valentine's was last tues.. the only day i din do mugging... yah... got a call from yanli in the morning.. cos she received the flowers i sent her.. hehh.. so happy.. cos she's happy... we went to night safari for dinner that night.. we went there for bongo burger... although it wasnt too disappointing but the menu has changed since the last time we went there.. so yah.. think that we would be the last time we are there... anyway there's carl's jr around now...

this weekend is simple enjoyment.. after some tests.. and missed 1 test.. it's time to waste money... saturday night we went to watch NTU's impresario... if u dunno wat's that.. Impresario is NTU's version of talentime.. it's a islandwide competition though.. the quality's better den superstar.. way better... Kelly poon was the guest artiste.. and junyang was her guest.. while me and yanli were sitting just beside junyang's fan club.. so pai seh.. they had luminated clubs.. and scream like there's no tml.. kaozZ... anyway.. the real highlight of the whole show was the performance by MOSAIC.. the winner of another NTU compeition FuXion.. they are not a singing group, they are music performers, unlike any we have seen... that performance simply blew the whole audience away.. it was simply just WOAH!!!!

today went shopping with yanli and spent quite a bit at marina square.. really went shopping.. quite shiok... hahaa.. ate at millenia walk's food court.. had my favourite korean food there.. yummy.. still good... den continued shopping... den bought more stuff.. den decided to watch movie.. so we bought the $48 dollars for 6 tickets package... so yah.. we are expecting a few more movies to come.. haha.. meanwhile before the show... we went to eat kaya fondue at glutton square.. yummy... i like the kaya there.. tastier den ya kun.. ya kun's one actually too sweet... yah.. nice... watch pink panther... it's a just for laughs show... very lame very funny... haha... but be warned.. not all jokes are obvious.. enjoyed myself very much today... gotta prepare myself for a week of catching up...

today the spector found a glimpse of a light... a ray of light which broke through the darkness after a night of grueling mugging... though it was just a glimpse... but it gave me tons of hope.. and satisfaction.. only a single word descrbes my feelings now...

SHIOK!!!

a drifting spector needs a light.. a leading light.. a source of encouragement.. an understanding heart.. and tons of patience...

i still have not found my direction.. i'm now just going straight.. straight ahead cos i have no idea where to turn... it's like walking in the dark.. afraid to turn left or right.. even afraid of taking the next step.. for fear i may end up in the abyss..

but isnt life about taking risks?? every step we take is a gamble.. be it big or small.. without risks.. life is a plain piece of paper... so we be afraid of taking risks?? i guess not.. but if u have gambled many a times... and lost the bet just as many... perhaps u would be somewhat like me.. afraid to take the next step...

i waited and she finally came for me.. for a moment i thought all was lost.. and i was left alone.. in the fire..

the thought of being alone on a deserted island may be scary to some... but i think that's not the worst.. cos u know that that is the situation and things are fixed at the state... after some time u will get used to it...

but now.. imagine u being in the crowded place... there are many ppl around.. having fun.. making noise.. but.. here's the irony.. u are alone.. ppl walk past u as if u werent there.. u become a drifting spector in the crowded.. that sort of loneliness, i feel is many times more horrifying and unbearable compared to the one above...

i feel like i'm trapped in a ring of fire.. and the only person who can save me.. dun wanna come.. should i just jump out of the ring at all cost or should i juat stay here and wait... i chose to wait..

just to continue the last post... sheares won the IHG vball.. again.. though i see everyone celebrating.. cheering.. it means almost nothing to me.. my heart was for the game.. not the result.. while ppl were cheering and chatting after the game... i'm just glad that yanli was around, to pei me and quietly walk away... some were emails sent out expressing their gratitude in everyone's commitment to the trainings and games and blah blah blah... well... i was mention in the emails appropriately as the runaway sons, rather apt i feel.. so was jeremy.. same situation as me i guess.. but sorry to say.. i'm bent on not carrying on my stay next sem.. currently i'm comtemplating whether or not to continue staying this sem.. i've send and enquiry to the OSA, asking for options.. we shall see...

this week was suppose to be a heavy week.. but somehow i reduce my lessons on my own accord.. 8 hrs became 2.. 6 hrs become 1... haha... not good.. maybe cos of my late nights spent at ECP mac.. that was my studying haunt for the past few days.. spent the nites there with yanli... i studied while she played "ming xing san que yi".. though she was playing.. she was really tired.. and i'm really grateful that she spent all that time with me.. esp when she had to work the next day.. she also helped me a lot with my financial accounting.. after missing the previous lesson... she really gave me tuition in the tutorials... and i was able to complete them to great accuracy... all thanks to her...

yesterday i realised i missed the deadline for my physics online assignment.. i din even know it was already up in the web... suckzZ.. so i got zero for my first webassign.. last sem i think i got zerp also.. but that was because i din know how to do.. not din do.. i was having a bad headache most of yesterday.. it was very uncomfortable.. made me nauseaus most of the time... uuurgghh...

today... wat day is today.. today is friday.. today's IHG vball finals, gonna play against eusoff.. today i supposedly had 3 classes.. but i skipped one and another was cancelled so i only had 1 hr of lessons today... today i filled up all the blanks in my FNA notes... today i catched up on my maths lectures, while chatting on MSN, also lazing in my B412 aka hostel room... today i did my maths lab quiz 1... today i had lunch alone again.. that's about it for today for now...

weekends are supposedly my free time... but i dun think i can keep them free of schoool work anymore... cos i just aint doing enough during the weekdays.. so yah... self-declared xtra classes for myself.. going to mac to study again... mid-term tests are coming.. less den 10 days time.. UNI works in hyper-drive... lazy bums watch out!!

2nd day of CNY.. things were better after eve.. nose and throat were slightly better... got quite a few ang baos.. and cos travel around to "bai nian" i incur very little personal expenses.. that's good.. considering i'm very poor now.. yesterday had dinner at spageddies@paragon.. first time eating there.. was expecting cartel-like food.. but i was wrong.. it was much better and and much more worth it... fulfilling dinner.. yesterday we were at cineleisure watching .. tonite we were there again but this time it's a huge family-matter.. although it's only like half of my maternal relatives, we had 20 tickets watching .. WOAH!! first time watch movie with so many relatives... interesting... hahaa.. think CNY is the only time i can mix better with my cousins..

today also went around visiting with my 4e khakis... it's been a yearly custom for us for years.. it's amazing how long this has been going on.. since we graduated.. or rather ever since CCHS we have been doing this.. in the early years.. we would take bus together from one house to another for CNY visiting... it's was fun taking a bus with a bunch of classmates.. years have past.. many things have changed.. but some things still seem the same.. or rather we have grown accustom to each others habits.. nowadays.. we drive around in a few cars... the bus crowd and evolved into a caravan of cars.. haha.. although the amount in the ang pao $$ hasnt really increased over the years.. but that was way besides the point.. haha..

Happy LUNAR NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE...

it's a lousy new year's eve for me... i'm sick!! flu.. coughing like mad.. and i feeling very very lethargic... for the pass few days.. it's just getting worst... this sucks... stayed at home after like 8plus... din go anywhere... not chinatown.. not marina... just at home.. so sianzZ.. so boring.. so irritating.. i'm SICK and BORED!!! this sucks... and i'm not getting and care and tenderness frm the only person that matters... this sucks even more... SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

end of the week again... only a few things worth mentioning since my last entry.. wednesday.. sheares won RH and is thru the next friday's finals.. i play my first game for sheares... seriously... i dun see the need for such hunger in such a game... my mentality for the game still stands... just play as u are happy... no point over-stressing... over-exerting.. over-reacting... after all it's a game.. at the end of the day it's suppose to make u happy...

thursday was a short day.. short short day... dear came to NUS to find me for lunch.. her CNY hols started since weds afternoon... shiok rite? yah... we went for lunch at engine canteen... after that we went shopping at orchard... the original plan was actually to go sing KTV... but both not feeling well.. so din go.. went shopping at world of sports.. got 40% off.. oh yah.. almost forgot to mention.. dear bought me a pair of new courts shoes... cos my old one stinks.. haha.. so nice of her rite??

today... we went orchard again... dear wanted to buy a pair of shoes which she din buy on thursday... but somehow.. there was only e display set left at paragon.. after checking, the salesgal told us.. it's a vailable at bugis.. so we rushed down.. in the end... we realise the bugis one not on offer.. so end up din buy... poor ger... we ate billy bombers for dinner.. very very long din eat liaozZ.. still taste quite good.. but dear order some CNY special.. not too nice.. den went chinatown shopping for clothes... i bought a shirt.. finally... but dear couldnt find anything she likes.. she is so so suay today... so kelian...

it's gonna be a busy CNY.. so many places to go... public holiday like no holiday... duhzZ... lagging behind in schoolwork too..

it's been more den a week since my last entry... this week starts tutorials... it's a disaster.. i missed my first accounting tutorial.. not by choice... but cos of my sleep-like-a-pigness.. anyway... it's really a disaster for now... cos i really dunno wat's going on in my tutorials... dunno how to do... i tot i understand the lectures.. but... well.. yah.. duhzZ...

i think i shld be frantically trying to keep up pace with the things happening around me... but.. aiyah... let things take it's course... shun qi zi ran lor...

just now went to watch the semis... NUS lost to SP after a seriously lack lustre performance.. seriously poor.. think that's the best description i can think of.. ppl ask me why i like so happy they lost... well the truth is.. i dun think they deserve to reach the semis in the first place..

yanli's gonna have a long long holiday for the festive season... and i'm gonna make her spend more time with me.. instead of her charis agatha lum "chai tou".. hahaa i'm so jealous of her newborn niece.. taking up all her time.. sobzZ.. hahaa.. time for me to fight back... come dear.. come... hahaha...

i went down to tp to watch vball today.. was suppose to be supporting NUS.. but they din really play well.. lost one set to Ngee Ann poly.. no wonder they lost 3-0 to SIM.. i was expecting NUS to at least take one set from SIM... surprising.. but the main attraction for me today is to watch NTU vs SIM.. NTU won 3-0 and won convincingly.. 2 factors won them the match.. all out defending.. and a magical setter... for non-volleyballers who were standing around me as i watched.. they were saying "wow, NTU's attacking is so strong.. SIM couldnt black any of their spikes.." but with a few years of volleyball experience and knowledge... one would easily realised it's the setter who controlled the match... NTU's setter in this case.. his deception in his setting, made almost every spike for his players an easy spike.. most of the time with only 1 blocker.. and even when there's 2 blockers, they wouldnt have enough time the close in in the bloack.. leaving a space in the middle of the blockers.. it's been a long time since i've seen such remarkable setting.. reminds me of the time i wanted to mimic his moves and deception... the result.. a clown act.. hahaa..

play badminton today.. yanli's improving with every game... maybe one day we can go enter some competition for fun.. hahaa... playing badminton quite often recently... esp cos now got yanli to play with me.. and she is good... heh..

tml.. morning basketball.. evening go back hall... ballot for tut.. and read up some lectures..

back in room again... 1st IHG match is officially over.. won EH quite convincingly.. i din get to play.. this makes me rethink my purpose.. my loyalty to the hall.. etc.. conclusion... this will be my last sem in hall... next sem onwards... HElloOO MRT... i have no believe in hall culture.. it was suppose to excite me... but somehow i've become inert to the hoo haa... i'm just a slient non-existent ninja.. living in huge almighty sheares hall.. hahaa.. and i'm okay with it... because not many ppl knows me.. i have the freedom to do watever i want..

i'm going home for the weekend now... zZzzZZzz...

back in hall.. back in school.. but that's only cos tonight got volleyball match.. not really excited about it... if i get to play den play... if dun have den so be it..

just now went to buy the rest of my textbooks... and so the total amount i spent on 5 irritatingly cheapskate looking textbook is $150.. kaozZ... never buy any book so expensive before... uni is expensive...

din go to school today... wanted to watch lectures online.. but somehow cannot load... but somehow.. i found a way to watch today's lecture... haven watch though... not purposely dun want to go school one... tml no lectures... so no go school...

school has finally started.. 6 modules for me this semester.. only just moved my stuff into hall.. personnally.. i'm still at home... not moving myself in yet... perhaps friday den move... haha..

i'm looking forward to chinese new year... and also the long long mid-yr break.. hahahaa..

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.. 2006 is here... and i wonder if it will be a good year for me.. i sure hope it will be a good year for myself.. but... we shall see how things turn out for myself...

i'll be taking 6 modules for the comming semester.. last sem i only took 4.. very soon.. IHG will be starting.. IVP will be starting even sooner, but i still wonder if i'm taking part in it or not. hahaa... i'm the laziest person around...

i regret to say my last year's resolution of losing weight did not materialise... although halfway thru there seemed to be signs of getting lighter.. but nope.. it was not to be.. the mass just bounce back like it never left.. hahaa... and it brought frends along.. duhzZ duhzZ.. i'm now above 100kg.. a historic milestone.. duhzZ even more..

so these will be my resolutions for the new year...

1. lose weight
2. pass IPPT
3. CAP > 3.5
4. be nice to yanli
5. make some frens

yah.. think that's about it for me.. the only thing i'm proud of achieving for this hols is that i revamp my room a little... shifted my cabinets ard... manage to create a little more space... wile the rest of the time was simply donated to the wonderful invention of the little box below my big black box ( SCV decoder below TV).. hahahaaa.......

it's been more den a week since i last blog... haven really been having a lot of thoughts in my mind... suddenly i seem to have quite a few ideas in my head... first was my exam results... seriously i'm quite surprised with my result... i din do exceptionally well... nor did i do very badly to my standards... but considering the amount of effort i put in for the last semester... i believe that this result is pretty much a miracle... i've got a B B+ and 2 B- and pretty respectable CAP of 3.33. yah... i was very surprised...

christmas was nothing really special... just spend some time with dear... think that's the best part of all lor... maybe it may seem selfish if i put it this way, but as long as she's around me... anyone else doesnt really mattered..

very soon new year's coming.. just a few days away... just like X'mas.. i still have not a single clue how to spent it... but i'm quite sure i wanna spent it with her.. hehee...

i have only one hermit crab left... the other one has been murdered too.. same murderer.. guess it's survival of the fittest... so much for hermit crabs being groupies... duhzZ....

it's been a long long time since i blog liaozZ... too lazy to come online recently.. been to only 2 training sessions.. one IVP one sheares... strenuous on my ankle... and so i rest since wednesday again... yah.. din go training.. din go frenly match.. well ankle more impt..

yesterday went to 4E class outing... quite fun.. ordered delivery from 933 golden pillow... alot of ppl came... long long long time no see faces... yah... quite nostalgic.. haha... went bowling after that... my scores quite good also... 165 for the 1st game... haha.. somemore went to cchs to take photos in the middle of the night...

just now went to airforce BOC bbq... also met quite a lot of my old colleagues and mnay also ORD liaozZ.... heard them complain abt a lot of things.. esp how things changed for the worst after we left.. hahaa... life was much better den... haha..

being my usual couch potato again... ask me wat is showing on cable tv everyday... i may be able to answer u quite promptly.. HA.. not very encouraging.. i still haven paxk up my room still looks like a sty.. aarrgghhh.. my whole house looks like a sty..

went back to tj for the gals camp... somehow my rght ankle giving me problem... at first still din think much into it.. but somehow it just got more and more painful... now... it's hurting like mad lar... cant walk also... limping limping... yesterday somemore "gey kiang" go jogging barefoot around the track... things just got worst... booozZ...

it's been awhile... i've been to malaysia over the weekend... the car rally was really quite boring... the only exciting part was the driving... finally i realise how small singapore is and how big malaysia is... and because of it's vastness, i can speed!! the legal speed limit is 110km/h can u believe that? call me sua gu.. but that's super exciting lar.. and the roads there all single lane one... den got alot of benbs and slopes... like initial D.. but this time got too many ppl on the car.. cannot drive crazily.. hahaha... anyway we got 3rd.. won $60 petrol voucher.. so so lame... i also got a taste of malaysia corruption... i was stopped along one of the roads... and booked for speeding.. that was crap lar.. i was travelling well well below the speed limit at the point.. but he insisted i was speeding.. and ask us to pay 300rm initially... but in the end he settled for 100rm.. so so disappointing...

today drove back to hall.. and i moved EVERYTHING back home liaoZZ.. yeah... 1 day gao dim.. by myself... yeah... i'm gonna revamp my room... rearrange everything... make it more working.. now it's only good for sleeping..

yesterday was supposed to go to bbq with tj vball ppl.. BUT!! i went to the wrong coasta sands... i went to the east coast one.. but they were at the pasir ris one.. so too bad lor.. no fate... so me and dear went to east coast waraku to eat.. good and cheap and big portion... shiok.. hehee...

so now.. i'm home... my first sem in NUS is kindda over... this is how i feel about my first term back in sch..

Social -

I had lots of difficulty trying to make frens.. it's may be cos of my course, most pple go lecture and tutorials in grps... so no getting to know of ppl except in CTW class.. CTW more interactive... so gotta know pple from there... think closest are my 2 grpmates... without them... i guess i would be much more helpless with my homework...

in hall, i missed orientation rather on purpose... which i believe is actually my biggest mistake... that made my interaction very hard in future, cos others were already in their own cliques... there i was kindda alone again... luckily i already knew some pple in hall.. but then still i was alone... in my room alone most of the time... breakfast alone... dinner alone... i have not had a single dinner nor breakfast with any of my hall-mates... wat a failure...

Study -

after 3 years of break from studying, being back in school is like a cultural shock... numbers make no sense... equations make no sense... physics make no sense... this term exam is exactly the result of my lost of touch... my expectations are low.. hopes are not high either.. so disappointment shldnt be too great... i hope.. after years of being ahead in the class... i find myself... at the bottom supporting everyone else above me... it sucks...

Volleyball -

volleyball in nus seems recreational for me... tell me to train competitively... i dun think i can do it or want to do it... i just dun have the hunger to train for such a goal... i no long have a direction in volleyball.. i dunno wat i want..

Overall -

i'm now in a state of ZERO motivation for anything and everything.. i have no idea wat i want.. i have no urge to do anything... no drive... no aim... no life... it suxX....

in exactly 2 hrs time.... my last paper for my first term exam will begin... and 2 hrs after that... all will be over... "the rice will be cooked" ; "the chicken will be slaughtered"... muahaha... life will be back to it's sloth-like state... hahahaa... nonono... must not be sloth-like anymore... must change.. make everyday a more meaningful day.... live everyday such that when the day ends, and i look back, i can say i have done something today... yes... that will be it... sleepingis considered something rite?? hahahaaa.....

feel a little better for my statics paper... hahaa.. cos i actually finished the whole paper... yah... it's open book paper... i like open book... hahahaa... cos can finish doing...

so one more paper left.... maths!! only one paper left to do!! yeah...

There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn

finished my Critical thinking and writing paper liaozZ... now that leaves me with just 2 more paper and my exams will be over... over as in time... as well as over in grades... i foresee myself looking at my first failure in a major exam in my 23 years... i doubt i can imagine how i would be feeling..

spent the weekend rotting... watching movie with dear dear and e rest of it sleeping.. on average i slept 30++ hrs this weekend... whahaa...

harry potter was okay only.. not fantastic... i haven read the book.. but i could tell a lot wasnt in the show.. i guess there's just too much details in the book and the movie seems kindda rush... yah.. that's the feeling it gave me... too many loose ends...

den sunday went to watch sky high... actually tot it would be quite a lame show.. but it turned out fine.. dear thinks its entertaining.. i think it's slightly more entertaining den harry potter.. hahaa.. maybe too much expectations for harry potter...

oh yah.. if u notice the pictures below.. i've got a new phone.. samsung x200... got it at $20 dollars after trade-it.. talk about having hp to the basics... this is it... no camera, no photo ID, no 2nd LCD, no sent items folder... but it's okay... at least it fits my requirement for a phone.. and it looks damn cool... and it's really the lightest phone around now.. whahaaa.... and most impt of all.. CHEAP!!

i got new phone....

Aftermath of 1 paper

whahaa... finished physics liaozZ.... the paper is over.. and 1 down... literally down... fail.. confirm fail... even praying wun help... cos i left too much blank... this is ridiculous... spent the whole week studying it yet this is the result... why?? i'm not dum... but... WHY!!! basically i am gonna fail physics... and all thanks to one word... ENTROPY... people out there who dunno wat that is.. well... people who intend to study physics in UNI... know it.. cause it just made me fail physics for not knowing it... KAOZzZZzz!!! 1 word...

watever it is... it's one paper down... still got 3 more left... disastrous start to uni life... disastrous start to my exams... well.. heck it...

now going out.. gonna go eat.. den watch harry potter with dear dear...

and btw... i dun want and overgrown hermit crab... i prefer them small...

spent the whole day trying to do the stupid statics online tutorial.... just realised that statics shld be the module i'm most afraid off.. why?? cos there's no where for me to practice... even though it's open book, it's unlikely there will be time for me to flip through the pages for a solution... kaozZ.. it sucks... wanted to finish reading up on my physics so that can start on doing past yr paper... but.. haven finish. or rather haven really started lor... duhzZ.... jiayou...

soon.. very soon it will all be over... muahahaa.... i want a pet to play with... my dear dear not fun enough.. hahaa... i want something furry and huggable... non-naggy... can i have garfield?? bboozZ...

finally finished all my maths lectures... task for tml.... start on physics.. my weakest module... and my 1st paper also... hack it DOWN!!! muahahaa...

just came back home after watching movie with dear... watched "a lot like heaven" it's a very nice show... very sweet.. very heartwarming... very nice lar... basically, if u wanna feel good.. go watch the show... although it does have a rather predictable plot... but who could blame them after the rigorous development of the movie industires... writers do run out of ideas.. anyway, this plot does seem like a rip off from a few other classic movies... not that it's bad.. the result was quite pleasant actually... ignoring the fact that it may not be original.. but who cares?? as long as u feel good after the show.. hahaa... so young gals out there, i think this is the show for u now.. hahaa.. well guys.. u know wat to do... bring them to the show lar!! duhzZ..

time to go sleep and tml gotta hit the lectures again...

up! up!! and away!!!

finally i studied... after so many weeks of slacking and rotting.. i am studying finally... still got 5 more hrs of maths lecture to cover... followed by 24 chapters of physics... and 2 books of statics and mechanics... not to forget i have to do sample / pass-yr papers... so much to do... i'm not complaining... i think i might be able to finish with a little luck.. and with more love.. hehee... so yah... thanks dear... hahaa.....

song of my day...

JS - 我比想像中爱你

飞得越远走看不见 你阳光下灿烂的笑脸
在天和海之间那条界线 慢慢地走远
你曾经是我的地平线

你有没有一点想念 我们一起去年的夏天
有种爱的感觉在心里面 那么地强烈
而这一切好像只是昨天

我才发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
还是不可否认地 我比想像中爱你

浪花掠过沙滩边境(海风就像你的呼吸)
我又看见我们的脚印(那曾是回忆的痕迹)
如果遇见幸福的机率要千万分之一
不顾一切 也要找回你

我才发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒 还是不可否认地
我比想像中爱你

终于发现我比想像中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒 还是不可否认地
我比想像中爱你

exactly 2 more weeks to my first paper.. whahaaa.... dying dying... i'm so DEAD...

i think i;m gonna waste another week again... 2 hols this week and yet.. it doesnt sound good to me.. cos tues and thurs are my usual self-declared free days... so yah.. like no diff...

it's NOVEMBER!! 16 more days to my first paper... and i still have not started studying.. whahaa... am i god or am i an idiot?? i like this song...


Joan Osbourne - If God was One Of Us

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

quiz is over and i'm at suntec now.. just now went to eat lunch with dear at shaw towers... at this vegetarian restaurant... the baked rice quite nice... it's all vege... but cant tell one.. haha...

now at suntec mac waiting for dear.. she's gone shopping.. i dun wanna shop... so wait for her here... she say 1 hr will come find me... times up and shes not here yet... women never keep time when they are shopping... sianzZ...

the quiz.. it was not too difficult... i think i knew how to do... although i scribbled alot and cancelled alot too.. so my paper was practically in a mess... luckily they dun mark for tidiness... mine was like shit lar... not too sure if my ans were rite... but i believe wun get zero... not asking for much...

i have a statics and mechanics quiz in 10 hrs time... zZzzZZz.... it has been a relaxing week...

i'm sunburnt again... yesterday play bball and for too long again.. so i'm red again.. and i sprained my ankle... but somehow i play better after getting the sprain.. but now i'm paying the price... cos it hurts now!!! argghh.. cannot go vball training liaozZ...

i feel much better now... mentally... somehow... i've done everything i need to do for today liaozZ.. which is very very rare... it's hasnt happen for yrs.. hahaa... so i'm feeling great.. and dun feel lousy like shit anymore... hahaa... amazing how a change in mindset can happen so spontaneously?? and wat it can do for you?? suddenly tutorials dun look as tough... and brain seem to be working a bit more.. hahaa... just only realised today that this saturday have statics and mechanics quiz.. totally forgot abt it until lecture today... heng i go lecture if not i sure forget.. hahaa...

this section goes out to all the hermit crabbies ard>>
if u dun wanna play with ur crab anymore.. pls give them to me before they die... i wanna have more in my tank... i think my 2 are bored.. hahaa... all they do is climb to the top of a "tree" den fall back down again... hahaa.. so yah.. gimme your crabbies!! hahaa

I've decided, I've choosen my path for the next 6 mths... I choose to stay in sheares for next sem too.. but i have to do the following things which i have not done this sem...

Things to be done...

NEW HAIRCUT, SHORT SHORT HAIR
STUDY!! STUDY ALOT...
PLAY VBALL..
GO JOGGING...
MIX ARD MORE IN HALL...

wish me luck... hehee

it's been sometime since i blog... many a times i wanted to leave something on my blog.. but i've been turning away everytime i come to the new-post webpage... why?? maybe cos i'm feeling guilty that i shld be studying instead of blogging.. dunno leh... whenever i think of that everything which was initially suppose to go onto my blog just disappeared... sianzZ...

life has been boring lately... not the type of lifestyle i want... but.... guess u know wat i wanna say... too lazy... uuurrggghhh...

biggest question in my head now...

SHLD I STAY IN SHEARES FOR ANOTHER SEM OR NOT???

no :
save money
waste money on the meal plans which i seldom eat
dun really interact
not involved in hall activities

yes :
nearer to school
got bed to sleep
got supper
wanna try to make frens

hiyoh... how leh?? stay or dun stay??? gotta make up my mind before 28th oct... aarrgghhh... how?? exams coming soon... duhzZ.....

had my first supper at sheares tonite... the chicken naan is really nice... not exagerating... it's really nice.. i bought 2 chicken naan and 1 cheese fries.. $5++ not too ex lar.. since can really fill my stomach.. hehee... din eat dinner... and vball training only ended almost 11pm... yah... lucky got supper.. hehe..

nothing will be said about school work... cos... it's boring and unentertaining.. and i've not been doing much hw... tml gotta do physics tut... haven done.... hmmm... later going home... to watch tv awhile den come back schoool... hohoohooo...

a weekend has passed... i'm glad to say at least some work had been done.. although not substantial but at least some... i'm back in my room... no more lessons for the rest of the day... only left with IVP training in the evening... now... i have 2 things to do...

1. do my physics online tut
2. sleep

i guess i'll sleep first... i'm tired.... zZzZZzzz...

one of my Hermit Crab just shed it's shell...

i tot it died... but i saw something in the shell...

it's still alive... but i tot it's supposed to grow bigger after shedding the shell.. but it looks smaller den original now... hehee... anyway... my crabs are still alive...

finally completed my part for CTW, but i'm still up providing watever i could offer to my grpmate... yah... cos i kindda guilty for not writing much for my part... haha.. i really din know wat to write... my mind just din churn up any ideas for me.. so too bad... i could only give him my 5cents worth... and some scattered pts here and there.. and let him do the patching up and beautification.. haha..

today's kunqi's bday.. one of my old old fren... used to take to her on the phone long long ago.. i think it was back in my secondary school days... she's a fellow hainanese with the same surname.. she li kunqi & i'm li kelun... so yah.. felt extra qin qie.. haha.. used to speak to her in hainanese... come to think of it... think she one of the last person whom i had spent hrs talking on the phone with... yah.. happy memories...

back home again... i'm really wasting money with the hall's catering.. 2 meals a day... 12 meals a week... and i'm missing like all of them.. haha... either never eat or eating outside... super waste money...

just came back from vball training... super tiring... feel very weak... feel heavy and slow... quite sucky... dun think i'm progressing much... like stagnate for so many years liaozZ...

if people ask me wat i wanted to do with my life, a few years back i would say i dunno.. now... i still dunno... but the difference is that now, i'm afraid... i'm afraid for not knowing wat i wanna do in the future... but i'm even more afraid that i may never know wat i wanna do... some time back, i tot that i'll belong to the airforce... but no.. i tried the possibility of becoming a teacher... but it din work out either... now i'm in NUS studying engineering, is this wat i wanna do?? i dunno... i have a partial volleyball coaching cert... will i go into coaching in the future?? i dun have the answer to that too...

when?? when will i find the answer to my question??

---= ThE gReAtEsT PuRpOsE oF LiFe Is To FiNd ThE PuRPoSe Of OuR LiFe=---

5 days since my last entry... although work doen has not been substantial.. but i'm glad to say work is in progress... yanli accompanied me as i studied yesterday... it just feel so much better to be studying with her by my side... although she could help in my studying, but her presense just made it so much easier to study... yah... thank you dear...

many days since i blog.. dun feel like accounting for the days that i missed blogging... but it's quite simple... eat sleep play game... never study... die die die... the prefect brew for downfall in UNI... aarrgghhh... in just 5 weeks time... i'll be facing my 1st exam in NUS... and now... i'm still lost in the lectures... lost in the tutorials... wat the hell?? and the only thing which i think i'm doing okay is CTW... which is like ridiculous... maybe cos there's no mid-term test for CTW.. so i still have screw it up... hahaa... like is a joke... life is a chore... i think i suit better living in the woods.... sleep whole day... hungry den go hunt for food... hahaa.... aaaarrrggghhh....

my right shoulder is painful again... after so many yrs... it's back again... aarrgghhh pain pain pain... fat fat fat... dum dum dum... stupid stupid stupid... lazy lazy lazy... eat eat eat... sleep sleep sleep... aarrgghhh..

bad bad news for my physics paper... i only got 4 out of 15 for physics... kaozZ.. that's like the lowest i ever got for any mcq... i think i really getting dumber and dumber... dun even know why i got those ans wrong...

den today got for statics tutorial... i totally cannot understand the solutions which were given by the tutor... a lot of ppl were asking questions... i dun think i'm alone.. but i really dunno anyone in that class to ask... super sianzZ now...

later no vball training.. but i dunno if i shld be going home... got alot of maths and physics lectures to catch up with.. sianzZ sianzZ sianzZ.........

shld not have stayed in singapore to study... shld have gone elsewhere where ppl are dumber.. and the pace is slower... aaarrrgghhh.... now... i'm so slow... so behind.. so stupid.... aarrrggghhhh.......

just came back from IVP training... very tired... first official formal training... micheal ong came down today... the supposed coach din come today... so micheal come and stand in for him... very tired... very long never had formal training... struggle to keep pace... but i survived!!

mid-term is officially over since monday... seems like i had quite a bit of good luck for my maths... the questions which i tikam-ed, i put Bs.. den 4 out of 5 ARE Bs.. hehee!!! so heng right... but!! the 7 qns which i did myself and tot was right... only 3 correct... so back to square one... 7 out of 12.. haha.. at least pass.. dunno about the other 2 paper how... hoping to pass well... pass well... not just pass... this sem i only have 4 modules... so i'm suppose to do well... if not next time how to coped??

tml no lessons again... seriously dun feel like engine student.. haha... YEAH!!! stay in hostel and watch webcast...

just realised i din do as well as i tot for my statics... by that, i meant i totally messed up the paper... die liaozZ... just now the lecturer went over the answers... den realised i did things SO wrongly... super demoralised.... not a good feeling to have.. esp when later still got 1 more last paper...

now me eating lunch... la bai cai mian... haha.. and i bought this sichuan pepper pickles from forum there... and added into the noodles... and wat do i get?? ma la huo guo... hot hot hot!!!!

spent the whole sunday in hall... first sunday in hall... call it a rest day.. hehe.. it was suppose to be a study day... but i was just too burnt to move around and get into studying... haha.. k.. if u know me well enough.. i'm just lazy... haha..

yanli came to pei me today... so nice of her... she brought aloe vera gel to sooth my burns... and yoko yoko & deep heat for my aching fats(dun wanna say muscles, say liao i feel paiseh... :P)haha... 1 new thing learnt today... there's tv for me to watch online.. NUS has TV-webcast!!! hehee... there goes my studying.. haha.. just now we watched The Apprentice on my laptop... so exciting.. haha...

tml.. 1 last paper... MA1505.. that's maths... i'm praying to god knows who for acceptable grades!! hehe... hmmm... actually that doesnt sound very safe.. wat if mr d*v*l answers my prayer... hmmm... there goes my soul... diaozZ... watever lar.. gdluck to myself... hahaha...

i think today's the best day for the past week... yah... most non-depressing... i had a great series of vball games in my inter-faculty games... we came in 2nd too... tough fight... great game... no regrets i guess... yah...

had statics paper today also... not as dead as yesterday's physics.. so i'm not that sad... although i still dun think i'll score well... but still feel better den yesterday....

one more paper on monday... and now i'm in hall.. suppose to be studying for it... but i'm gonna rest first... cos.. i'm CAO DA!! burnt again... played outdoor vball since morning to 5pm... kaozZ... red red red!!!

1 paper down... 1 paper dead... no good news... all news is bad news for now... no good mood.... all mood is bad mood... super sianzZ... feeling super stupid... stupid china ppl... can say the paper so easy... kaozZ.... think they are e only ones who are happy to talk abt their papers... e rest... like me.. all came out of the hall with heads hanging down... 15 mcq... 1 hr... i did only 8... e rest... anyhow shade... hoping luck is still with me.. haizZ.... this is bad... last time.. i will finish everything... check a few times... den just hope luck will have me not miss out anything... now... luck plays a much bigger part... not good.. not good at all... why is studying so torturous?? because i dun have anyone to share the pain with me... unlike back in JC days... i have my class to share... now... ppl i know dun study wat i study... so i cant relate... ppl in my class cant relate to me... studying becomes lonely... becomes a chore... becomes torturous... esp when u cant understand.... life is bad now... studying is bad now... engine is bad now... change?? archi?? art?? NTU ??

it's times like this that i really need someone by my side... but that someone may not be by my side now...

2 more days left any school starts again.. and with that - my mid-term test... i'm suppose to be studying for it now... and for the past few days... i just cant seem to get myself settled to study... haven cover anything for the past fews days... days wasted... nites wasted... time wasted... morale wasted...

wat the hell?? i'm still wasting my time here...

i've a couch potato.. staying at home and abandon my B412 since tuesday... wednesday went for 1 lesson and came home liaozZ.. yah.. den today went ktv with esther & jass.. sang from 2plus to 7pm.. felt quite fast really.. think cos we were enjoying it.. haha.. it's been a long time since we went ktv.. so yah lar.. quite like it lor... left them to meet yanli for dinner..

had dinner with yanli at the glutton square.. if u are wondering where it is... well just beside esplanade... had prawn mee and ckar kway tiao... haha... quite nice.. quite ex too.. but i'm willing to pay for that standard.. hehe.. yumzZ.. went to watch the longest yard after dinner.... very funny... although quite disappointing we dun get to see wat happens after the football match... well.. i guess life goes on...

oh yah.. a lot of ppl is saying yanli looks very nice in the dress she wore to the solemnization ceremony.. that's nice.. hehe.. maybe i'll change the pic up there.. haha...

i'm back home today... no classes today... why?? cos tutorials occur on odd weeks and no lab for this week.. so NO lesson!! hehe... yah... but doesnt seem to be a very good thing to stay home.. cos production rate = zero... yesterday nite suppose to do my physics assignment so that today can do my critique.. but guess wat.. i have started on neither yet.. and the dateline for both is tml.. aarrgghhh...

yah... yesterday had lessons in school... before going off for mummy's solemnization... well.. she's now officially re-married... but no.. i do not have another father... guess me and my sis have agreed on that... yah... the event was held at meritus mandarin.. a few formalities like signing of wedding cert... den took photos and a rather pointless wine pouring session.. haha.. but all in all.. it was quite okay lar.. it was only suppose to be a simple matter.. nothing too elaborate... those interested to see the photos... can follow the link on the left column... hehe..

it's sunday nite and i'm back in SHEARES hall.. it's buaya week... and the corridors are filled will lots of funny stuff.. haha... quite interesting... none for me... den ruoling said mine gotta wait.. so got ppl suppose to buaya me lar... hmmm... i wonder.. haha.. well...

"dear dear, dun worry... it's all just fun laughter peace and joy... "

just now follow terrence one of my level-mates to send present to his buaya... it's a candle that shows a msg after it's burnt... interesting.. but i din get to see the result.. we had to hide.. haha... yah.. quite exciting... everyone's asking me to take part... but well... abit late rite?? hehee...

tml's my mummy's solemnization ( celebration of marriage.. courtesy of dictionary.com)yah... i see it as a formality.. for those who are somehow in tune with stuff happening in my family shld understand wat i meant.. hehe..

and now.. it's time to go do tutorials loh... no need sleep again... zZzZZzzzzz....

back home... somehow feel very "nua" everytime i'm home... cant seem to do any work... maybe i shld have stayed in hall instead... maybe can do more work.. yah.. dunno lar... tired...

this morning went to bukit panjang to play IBG bowling.. i bowling quite poorly... but somehow still got overall 5th place.. but all thanks to my partner.. he was playing well for 1st 2 games but last game quite sucky... my 2 game was the worst.. only 92... almost every frame only hit 9 pins.. kaozZ!! yah.. anyway.. our block din manage to retain the title.. maybe it's partly my fault?? but den.. i'm not that influential.... yah... i WANT to go bowling more often... i want my own bowling equipment... i want to improve... i want to be a 200++ averager.. not 100.. aarrgghhh...

super tired after bowling.. drag myself home on the mrt.. took the LRT from bukit panjang to CCK... i realised that the windows of the LRT are special... when they pass by routes where they are very near the HDB flats.. the windows turn white.. opague white in an instant... den once it's passed the region.. it turns tranparent again.. i was pretty amazed by that.. really din know abt it at all.. yah... but i was still very tired... took me almost 1.5hr to get home...

once i reach home i changed and went out again... cos me meeting yanli at paya lebar mrt to go airport for lunch... we very long never eat the cai fan at airport liaozZ.. not bad lor... after so many yrs.. the standard still quite good.. but got drop a little lar.. yah.. initial plan was actually to do some studying there one.. but i was simply too tired... could only drag myself home to sleep... zZzZZ...

going off to sleep again...

today... is suppose to be a long day... but i decided to make it short... so i skipped all my lectures... only went for my tutorial... MUAHahaAHAa... yah... cos i dun think i'll benefit much from the lecture also... yah.. that;s for physics lar... maths i can go watch webcast.. so stil ok... hehe... yah... went for tutorial.. which is the painstakingly completed assignment which i did last nite... yah... din really got the answer rite... but my basic idea is there... hehe.. feeling better about it liaozZ... BUT... today i realise i was in the wrong classroom all the while... yah... i was suppose to be in grp A11 at classroom E4-4-3 den i was in E4-4-6 for the past 2 weeks and i din realise... KAOzZ!! so dum rite.. but nvm.. this tutor is nice... so he told me he will add my name into his group.. den i just inform the prof can liaozZ... goodie good...

yah.. since i skipped lectures.. i've been sleep since lunchtime.. hehe.. later got IFG vball trials at 6pm... yah.. den tml got bowling... hope i still have time to do my critique... :)

oh yah... dear.. me no buaya... me just kpo kpo.. hehe..

MUWHAHAA!!! i only just finished my statics assignment.. and how tedious it was?? it's only 1 qn... and i took hrs just to do that 1 qn.. super super super tedious... and still dun think my ans is correct... everytime i redo i can get different ans... minght be something wrong somewhere... well.. heck lar.. tml go class den say... now too shagged to think...

today marks the start of buaya week... i din take part... not interested... dunno why not interested also... it's like a joke lar... basically everyone will somehow get assign to someone and u are suppose to buaya that person with ur actions... like secret flowers and gifts and stuff liddat.. haha.. i say it's a scam invented by someone who just didnt dare to declare his love... so he made the whole world to the same thing so he can smuggle his feelings to her... hahaa... or maybe it's just me and sour grapes... duhzZ... yah... although i not taking part... but bystander also not bad... almost everytime i open my door i see something new in the corridor for someone.. with ultra mushy paragraphs... uurrgghhh... hair stand... haha...

just now went to a new balance warehouse sale with yanli..she bought 2 pairs of shoes while i bought 2 pairs of running shorts... seldom find any that could fit as well as those i bought.. so i'm happy.. haha...

we went IKEA to eat dinner... meatballs.... really missed the meatballs... haha... gotta psycho mummy to buy.. den i can cook for myself at home.. haha.. yah... it's 4 plus am.. and i'm not sleeping liaozZ... wat for?? later got lesson at 8am... now sleep later sure cannot wake up one.. den evening still got IFG vball trials... tired.... worst of all.. gotta to the dumb dumb critique... assignment by next week...

wednesdays and fridays are the busiest days for me... most number of lessons... just came back from volleyball.. i think training will start to intensify... not really good news for me i guess... i wish to slack... did about 50 push-ups just now... super tired.. haha... haven done push-ups in months... back aching now... aarrgghh...

just sent my clothes to wash... den after that gotta send to dryer... full 3hrs... no need sleep loh.... haha... yah.. den the cashcard reader for my block spoil again... so i went to block A again... haha..

today i had my dreaded CTW lesson again... the tutor is still as lost... and disorganised.. with such disorganised thinking.. i wonder how can she teach critical thinking effectively... sianzZ... i know!! she can only concentrate on written words... once u talk to her... she gets lost... kaozZ!! yah.... assignment 2 will be due next week... die!! haven start... suppose to start last week...

today's a slack day... done some tutorial yesterday... so today got to class partially prepared... but for the half which i din do... i'm still lost now even after discussion of answers in class.. why is my understanding so poor?? and why is physics so complicated at UNI level??

with all my frustrations.. i decided to go watch movie with yanli... i went to cineleisure to get tickets first... she came around 7.. so we went to eat to the food court... i ate korean bbq... disappointingly little.. but i still ate 2 bowls of rice... my fav korean food is still at millenia walk foodcourt... hehe... best... den we got this weird blended drink... it has banana, honey and milk and some jelly bits... very very sweet.. i think honey and banana goes well... but they overdid it... yah.. that's dinner...

initially i got 2 tickets for the 7.40 show.. but just as we were going into the cinema den we realised it's the wrong tickets... they gave me tickets for Perfect Catch.. when i asked for March of the penguins... den i din check also.. stupid me... so we went to the counter to change our tics... but the 7.40 show was full, we took the 9.20 one instead... so wat do we do in between?? shop lor... walked around cineleisure.. den heerens... den taka... my feets are so sore now... must be the brooks shoes... always make my legs sore.. haha..

so now the movie... finally!! it's the story of the King Penguins... about the journies they make to bear their eggs.. the dangers they face... and the fight to survive... nice touching and sometimes sad story... although in french... the penguin's cuteness is more den enough to keep u cheerful thru-out the show...

so yah... go watch go watch...

tml got stupid CTW again... and guess wat.. i haven done any work for it.. and next week got another assignment due.. so sianzZ... so fast....

i'm dwelling in my room trying to do my tutorials.. done quite a bit... but at an alarmingly slow rate... with plenty of errors... i'm not afraid of making mistakes... but i'm so pissed that i dunno where i'm going wrong... so pek chek... duno what's wrong with my thinking leh... yet i really dunno who i can turn to for now... lost....

remember the feeling of being alone?? yah it's creeping back to me again... but i dun blame anyone except myself... i simply din want to mingle around and mix around... i tot i had to do more work... study more... read more... understand more... cos that's my main purpose coming to UNI... but... i dun seem to be able to understand much... not much progress in my assignments either...

to make things worst... even though i stayed in hall... i think i just made myself the most anti-social person around... super "guai lan"... din get involve in much hall activities... den also dun really know anyone in my course of study... haizZ...

just now went for dinner... see all the other vball ppl eating together... i really wanted to join them... but they all from same block... den me like so extra... den like no one ask me to eat togehter... den forget it lar... ta pao back to room and eat lor... just tell me myself say wanna do work...

i tot i'll be able to catch up in my studies... i'll be able to make frens... but it seems like being 2 yrs behind is really alot... and a cold start to UNI life din help at all... i'm way behind in my knowledge... it seems like all the hardwork i put in during my 3 yrs in TJ... remained in TJ... as for frens... i really dunno who to turn to... or how i shld approach ppl... things no longer work the way they used to be.... i'm an alien in a human world... my brain is not working... i cant seem to think logically.. my directions are too narrow...

i'm living in self denial... wallow in self-pity... tell me wat i shld do... how i shld do... i dun wanna think... i cant think... brain is dead.... i really feel like going home... to hide away from school... stay at home for good... and hope things stay the way it is for the rest of my life... i'm making myself feel so hopeless... talk about self-inducing uselessness... wat the hell am i doing with my life??

yesterday evening went to suntec & marina with yanli & my family... ate at swensen's... ate alot.. hehe... think i getting hooled on baked rice.. haha.. but that's not the main highlight... we went to comex 05 before dinner... and spend a very long time there.. esp at the apple corner... mummy bought powerbook G4... $4000+++ kaozZ... keep saying she no money... yet she wanna pay 1 whole dun want pay installments... kaozZ... she also bought 2 mini 80Gb HDD at $175 each... i think that's a super good buy lar... damn cheap lor... when i bought my HDD 2 yrs back... comething liddat will cost $300 plus...

today we went to suntec again... went to visit the food fare... met quite a few familiar faces... the food so so only lar... the whole place quite oily and sticky... stay too long very "gao wei"... yah lor...

still have do my hw... think later go back hostel den do... zZzzzZZzzz....

have been home since thursday... din go back to school on friday... only 2 lectures.. dun feel like going back for them... so boring... din do much at home either... do homwwork loh... zZZzZZZ

after 2 lectures and i'm back in my room... went to use the washing machine in blk A.. and quite paiseh to say the washing machine cheated me of $1.60... haha... cos the i din know how to use the first one... den change to another one.. thinking the first one was spoilt... den after paying for the 2nd one.. realised the 2nd one was really spoilt... den tried the 1st one again... and it was working... there goes $1.60.. hahaa...

yah also because of the stupis washing machine.. i could go find yanli for lunch... i bought brownies and apple pie form biz canteen for her one... but in e end she came to NUS to find me... so nice of her rite?? hehee... yah... she came down all the way to fine me for lunch.. cos anyway she goin biopolis later on... yah... so she got to eat the stuff i got for her and also a taste of NUS's canteen food.. we went arts canteen for lunch... but i think she rushing for time... no time to enjoy... well.. there's always another time...

now i'm still in my room... but i;m going out soon... going to parkway to send my laptop to sony gallery... see if they can do anything about the webcam... yah.. den go home for awhile... den going to a wake.. a fren's mum passed away... yah...

just came back from IVP vball... super tired... shagged.... zZZzZZ.. lessons start at 8am tml!!!

wanted to go wash clothes but the stupid card reader spoilt... seems like someone spoilt it just before me... kaozZ...

it's been afew days since i blogged... really have been killing myself with my tutorials and assignments the past few days... but the good thing is... it's all done for now!! yeah!! now... time to start on next week's stuff... so i wun be like sunday nite den stress again..

finally handed in my critical thinking assignment... kaozZ... it's really hard to understand how to do it lor... and my english now is like shit!! really jialat... lucky got yanli to help me abit.. hehe...

yesterday had physics lab.. very long never stap into a lab liaozZ.. quite fun... my lab partner also quite funny... yah... not bad lar... starting know noe more ppl... life is starting to look less bleak... haha...

for now.. it's time to go play vball at SRC loh!!!

my weekend is over...

total food taken in = plenty
=>> potential energy = 100

total exercise/sports done = nil
=>> kinetic energy = 0

total assignments left to do = plenty..
=>> workdone = 0

morale level = low and dropping lower...

my 3rd week in nus is over in a flash... lectures and tutorials alike, over in a flash.. till now i'm slightly behind my schedule but i hope i will be able to gain some lost ground over the weekend... managed to know a few more pple this week... i'm quite happy with that.... yah...

i think this will not be too hectic a semester for me.... cos i'll be taking only 4 modules... my appeal failed to get me my elective.. so yah... ultra empty timetable for sem 1... hope this gets me into the tempo of uni studying...

today's a good day... had breakfast with yanli before coming to school.. took bus to harbourfront there to change bus to school.. quite fast considering it's peak hrs... at least it's under 1 hr to reach sheares... no bad lar... better than squeezing the dum mrt and 96...

attended my first physics lecture since the beginning of school... yeahs!! but the problems is... in 3 weeks the lecturer already reach lecture 7 liaozZ.. kaozZ!! u mean i missed so much?? die lohzZ.... suddenly like go so much work piling up...

got physics tut & online tut, maths tut, mechanics web & ib tuts, critical thinking homework and assignment... kaozZ... mountains are made of mole hills.. and it was a mole hill just yesterday... must clear the molehill!!

oh yah... since i said today's not a bad day... this is the main reason why... i got to know much more pple today... quite a few in my Critical thinking class... and i think most of us are bemused by the tutor... she's like in a world of her own... her type of reasoning just doesnt make sense... so yah.. common ground among the class...

went for IVP vball training... mostly yr 1s... only a few seniors came down... apparently there's still no coach... yah... gotta know quite a feww ppl there too.. and there was this swedish guy... real tall... and very skilful.. his name quite hard to pronounce though... it sounded something like "orp kern" yah.. but he is good...

1st day of my 3rd week in NUS... tutorials start loh... stayed up last nite to finish my maths tutorials... i'm not too out of touch lar.. still can do.. but quite slowly i guess... at least can finish lar... 2 lessons in school today only... maths tut... den mechanics lecture... my maths tutor is a china-man... cant stand him... if my class no non-chinese, i really wished he spoke in chinese instead... forgot to bring my notes for my mechanics lecture.. so i had to listen and remember everything... practically cramming and cramming info into my head.. den after lecture rush back to my room to translate everything into my notes... filling in the blanks... din really manage to remember much... i get the basic concept.. but dun really know how to go about doing it... die!! mechanics used to be only 2D in jc... now.. it's 3D and things just got SO much more complicated!! kaozZ!!

just imagine this... 2 forces act on the x & y plane respectively.. den how to find resultant moment by the 2 forces abt that point??

ans: the resultant moment is in the direction of the z-plane and the magnitude of it is the vector product of the 2 forced.. kaoZZ!! u understand?? i dun even know wat i'm talking abt....

quite an eventful day today... went to school for IBG vball... we din get into the finals... why?? cos we met block E in the group stage... and there was no semi finals... straight to finals... such a dum way to play the game... sianzZ... rained halfway thru the games... but it stopped after a while.. den we carried on... well.. we din get into finals lar... that's final... not a bad start for my first involvement in hall activity... well that may be the last too.. haha... i'm so SO so anti-social...

went bowling after vball with my airforce pple... not bad... played 4 games... even manage a high score of 160 on my last game... yah.. not bad lar... just that not many ppl went... only a few of us... but i still had fun... cos havent bowled for a long long time... really makes me wanna get my own bowling ball... now... save $$...

well.. i'm finally back in my hall... check out quite a bit of my stuff.... sort out my future lesson plan... and send in an appeal for my 5th module.. wonder if my england can make it or not.. haizZ.. seriously not confident... ahaha..

today marks the end of TJC Almuni's Open Cup Campaign in 2005... well.. it's a first attempt and i say it's a good one... we are newbies to the open game... and we have concluded there will be many more attempts in the future... best thing is not winning.. losing's not the worst either... there's only one thing that i'm interested in... that's to have a team... a team that plays together... a team comprises of a lot... and i have to say.. we still have leagues to go before really becoming a team...

just got back home from supper... went simpang bedok for supper with yanli... ate nasi goreng... nice nice.. maybe cos i was hungry.. we went to 7-11 to buy drinks.. den we had an encounter with the OTHER SIDE... as i was taking the drinks from the cooler... i felt a presense... i looked down the shelf... and saw a black hand... tapping it's fingers on the cans just below my hand... i stared at them for awhile and nudged yanli to see.. she jumped.. and we slammed the door in... while we burst out in laughter... hahaa... after a while the indian shop assistant came out and said," u 2 not bad ar.. not scared.. i scared 3 customers until they scream already" wah kaozZ.. that was like super irritating lar... next time we see anything liddat again... we will just take the cans and smash the hands!! we dun like black hands.. haha...

oh yah.. i'm home again... Y?? cos tml no classes!!! yeah.. tutorial and lab haven start... so tml free!!!!

not a bad day in school today... got to know 2 new people... just got names that's all... haha.. and i dun really remember them now.. jialat... realised that i dun only know my vice-block head... i know the block head too... k.. let me go down the list... my block head is junming's roommate in AFS.. so i know him... den vice block head is my OGA in tj... so i know him... my level head is my 12/00 classmate.. haha... small small world...

bought my textbook for physics... most expensive and thickest book i ever bought... looks just like a telephone book just that it has hard cover... it cost me $45 for that.. den bought another workbook... $15.. kaozZ... $60 gone liddat... went for Critical Thinking tutorial.. i find the tutor boring.. and seriously uninteresting... sianzZ... 2 hr tut... really wanna sleep... give so much homework somemore.. kaozZ!!

later going to play badminton at tampines... sport hall... hehee.. some competition among auditing firms... james say not enough ppl so ask me to play... for fun only lar.. haha..

lost the last vball match again... lost to singapore schools... i still think we din play well...we won the first set.. lost the next 3.. replica of the match against SHS.. in fact... singapore schools were mainly SHS.. sianzZ... i got to play for some of it as usual... yanli asked me something.. she asked why fung always puts me in at the final few points of every set.. i told her... well i was suppose to be the match saver... but it's always by the time i go it.. i dont even get to touch the ball and the set is over.. duhzZ.. my leg was feeling alrite for the game.. until i dived and landed in the wrong position again... jialat... think gotta brush up my diving technique... wrong landing... hahaa...

i'm now slacking on my bed in hostel... everything seems fine for now... coms working.. i got my laser jet in... roughly know wat lessons i'll be having today... have tml all planned out... yah.. feeling ok.. need some sleep den off i go...

my back to my desktop again... my laptop has given up on me again.. and i just gave up on it.. it's now being reformated... i hope everything will be fine after that.. that's so so so frustrating... yah... den my desktop is like so saturate with programs it's running so slowly.. but somehow it's still able to surf... haizZ... so unfair...

din go school today again... i hope i'll be able to find some webcast lectures for those that i missed.. yah... this marks the end of my first week in school...

no. of lectures attended - 3 of 7
no. of new frens - ZERO
no. of old frens met - a few
enthusaism rate - low
morale level - low
confidence level - low
amount of $$ wasted on cab - abt $100

this have been a very low period for me.. i somehow cannot get myself enthu in anything except vball.. but the injury on my leg made me have reserves when i'm the court.. i couldnt carry out wat i wanna do with any effect... well.. i dunno...

reflections... i chose to repeat my 2nd yr in tj.. till now i still think i made a wise decision, my grades made great improvement.. spend extra time in NS hoping i'll get the contract... that is the biggest defeat for me til now... lost a lot time.. confidence... i took a year off my enrolment into UNI... i think that was a bad decision too... now... where am i? i'm now at a point where i know almost no one in my cohort... my age pple are in 3 rd yr... my jc batach are in 2nd y... while i just entered... dunno who to turn to when i have queries... i despise myself....

feeling low low low low low low low.......

finally my com seems to be working again... yesterday it was again dead... had the same problem for very long... i'm just happy it's working now... dunno when it will be down again... aarrgghhh.. hope not..

2 hrs lecture in the morning yesterday.. den i bought my laser printer... very fast.. very shuang... yah.. gonna bring it into hall lar... seems like no one appreciating it at home...

played against volleysport today... they are good... while we suck... i duno lar.. with junlong and robin in the team... we still dun seem good at all... i was on the bench for most of the game... i was just shaking my head... shaking my head... cant understand how we could play so poorly... with this lost.. we are confirmed out of the competition liaozZ... just hope they will play better in our remaining matches...

i'm home again... and my laptop is working!! cheers!! got alot of anti-virus/spyware/worm devices on standby liaozZ... hahaa... conclusion... the culprit is a virus call trojan.lowzone... ppl.. beware... windows service pack 2 and a firewall is all u need to stop it from causing trouble... well.. alls well now...

went for vball training just now.. my leg still pain... put a lot of yoko yok... den went to spike... very xin ku... yah.. tml still got match... how?? robin and junlong's back for tml's match... tml vs a strong opponent.. i wonder... dun think i'll be playing tml... my leg really still pain... cannot exert force... sianzZ...

tml lessons at 8am in the morning!! wah kaozZ!! i still din get wat i wanted in my bidding... at this stage too competitive.. very hard to get... double sianzZ

guess where i am again.. i'm back in hall... i din attend lecture this morning... why cos i was sleeping.. too tired... i just came into hall not long ago.. just bid for my gem only... i seriously perk chek with my com now... apparently i din successfully install windows service pack 2 yesterday... den i spent the whole nite last nite talking to my new fren.. the pacnet tech guy... kaozZ... in the end... i just gave him a new problem that he has totally no way to solve... tried all the diagnostics methods to no avail... this is so pathetic.. so i'm here... d/ing service pack 2...hoping it will save my laptop from a 2nd format... aarrgghhh... this is so so frustrating....

i'm back in hall for a while... going home later.. cos my lessons start in the afternoon... so come back take some things and put some things... and check whether my laptop can work here... so nw u know.. it works here... but doesnt work at home... this is crap... and my PC and home can work.. this is crap... but at least it's working here.. i'm glad liaozZ... cos tml i must bid for my modules... and it must WORK!!!

oohh yah.. i'm here with yanli... den just now we went to carrefour... den got stuck on ECP... Benjamin Shears Bridge there... cos everyone stop on the expressway to see fireworks... so we see also lor.. hahaa...i haven been to a national day parade in YEARS!!! the last time like 3 or 4 years old lor... kaozZ... next yr go see with yanli.. haha...

sucky evening to a not so bad day... lost our match against SHS.. yah lost to the small kids of St Hilda's.. somehow we really played like shit today... lousy first ball... lousy setting.. lousy spiking... seriously KNS... desreved to lose... but gotta give SHS credit also... their defense really very fast.. yah.. lost but we live to fight another day... i got to play quite a bit today.. but sad to say.. i wasnt playing very well either... some more my leg hurts again... aarrgghhh... OUCH!!!!

i'm now typing this entry on my PC at home.. somehow my internet connection at home very weird.. my laptop like gone crazy.. cannot connect... super pek chek... dunno wat's wrong...

first day of lessons is over... PHewww.. lucky the lecture is a total JOKE... so manage to stay awake for the whole 2 hrs... still got some stuff haven buy... wednesday come back den buy... tml's national day liaozZ... so fast... seems as if i just ORD not long ago.. haha... i din manage to bid for anything today... i missed the bidding timing... so yah... wednesday again.. a lot of things left for wednesday... hahaa... but at least i found the modules to take liaozZ... is there is still available slots for me that is... very scared no more slots left... haizZ... so dum this bidding thing... aarrgghhh...

now... waiting for the rest of the sheares vball ppl to eat... eat liaozZ go hougang... today is match day 2 for us... shld be able to win... see how...

guess where i am?? i'm in NUS.. Sheares Hall.. Rm B412... whahaa.. this will be my first nite in hall.. tml only got 1 lesson!! OMG.. 1 pathetic lesson... well.. i'm not prepared for multiple lessons anyway... yah... the module i bidded for last week had been dropped by the system.. why?? cause the contents clash with a core module i'm taking next sem... haizZ.. never see properly...

think my room quite cosy... wonder if i'll wake up tml... hahaa... better do.. hahaa... dun wanna miss my frist day of lesson.. somemore one and only lesson...
tml vs SHS... 8 pm... sources have told us that they aint strong at all... so yah... hope to win them too...

went back to tj for training... wanted to go early for gals training.. but slept... until esther asked me to bring socks for her... den i went to school... at first i tot she never bring socks very blur.. i just realised the shoes she was wearing wasnt hers too.. duhzz... mei.. dun so blur okie...

alumni training was just sad case lar... all the sheares gang never come... which includes rubin, zai, junlong & weijie... reason? rag day.. kaozZ... next match is on monday lor.. dun wanna come training.. i really have the urge to put them on the bench on monday... that robin still missing.. dunno where he is... sianzZ.... worst still i injured my leg... not strain.. just pure impact... ouch!!! better get well before monday...

today... wat did i do today... went back to base to settle my deferment thingy.. so yah.. no more reservist for the next few yrs.. hahaa... but still gotta go for ippt.. sianzZ.. still got 1 more year... nvm.. hahaa..

this is the last friday for me to slack.. sunday nite i'll be going to sheares and spend my first nite in sheares and have breakfast there... and GO TO CLASS loh!!!!! yah.. school's finally starting... so scary... hahaa.. haven revise my maths... haven print notes... whahaa... tml den say... hahaa...

went back to school to get my student status letter and get my student card encoded for my room... yah... go all the way back to school to do these bo liaozZ stuff... hahaa... so waste time... went shopping around for some little stuff to put in my room... cos i realise my room is starting to stink.. haha... even whem i haven even spent a single nite there... imagine when i stay there how.. hahaa...

yup.. had a good sleep at home today... din go sell falg.. let me say it again... start at 4am??!! CRAZY!! hahaa.. so i slept at home in my nice nice bed till afternoon...

suppose to go back school to collect some stuff.. but i was SO lazy i was only in school around 5pm.. which means all the office close liaozZ... but actually not totally my fault... i took 51 from my house to NUS... wah kaozZ.. go hre go there... took almost 1.5h to reach lor... wanna vomit... haha.. so just went back to get my bag... den took cab home...

went home to get my vball stuff before going to hougang stadium for vball open... stupid traffic jam... bus so slow.. got pek chek.. so took cab again.. this few days spend a lot of money on cab liaozZ... heart pain... anyway.. i wasnt the latest to reach lor... played against Advancement Consulting Grp... some uncle team lar.. we won them... even without robin playing cos he still in indonesia... haha.. anyway we won... man of the match shld be qingwen, junlong is the strongest attacker, jincai looks a bit shack... zai looks damn shagged... guosheng really a lot to say, see wat NIE have done to him... nelson still blur blur... markus shld be given more time in the game... guoping played libero in no.5 position which meant he is new in that area... looked blur also... i played for awhile.. but to me.. quite pointless... the rest of the fixtures for the first round is below.. wanna go support us???

DATE Time TEAMS Venue
8 Aug Mon 8.00 pm SHS vs TJCA Hougang Sports Hall
11 Aug Thur 6.45 pm TJCA vs VS Hougang Sports Hall
14 Aug Sun 8.30 am SS vs TJCA Hougang Sports Hall
17 Aug Wed 6.45 pm TJCA vs VA Hougang Sports Hall

finally dragged myself to hall today... but... i'm back home again... wanted to go back... but for wat?? to wake up at 3 plus and go for a flag day from 4am to 7pm?? i dun think so.. crazy lar!! i'm too lazy for that..

walked around the blocks in NUS.. it's a maze there... walked through a few faculties and to my hostel... took quite a while... my laptop can connect thru the schools lan-points liaozZ.. but my com seemed to have some problem.. cant pin-point wats the problem too... but it's working fine now... maybe it's the place... duhzZ...

saw my TJ senior who put me into block B... he's now in NIE becoming a chinese teacher... went to meet yanli for dinner at harbour front... when i was leaving i took the lift down... but the lift was going up.. den there was someone else with me in the lift... whom i think looked familiar... den he ask me if i was going for dinner.. i said i was going out.. den i ask him was sch was he from previously... den he told me NJ, den continued saying he only played vball in yr 1... den i was like... do u know me?? so i asked him... he said.. u are kelun lor.. very popular mahzZ... den i was like.. har?? i din even know i was popular... maybe notorious for skipping all the orientation and stuff... haha... den someone came in when he left... den this guy was like.. eehh kelun u not going for dinner ar?? den i was like.. har?? u also know me?? but i know no one!! scary leh... hahaa...

finally bid for my non-core module for this sem.. i think i shld be able to get it... chose it together with yanli... we looked thru alot of modules... finally found one that doesnt clash exam or lectures... phew... really headache... gonna do some basic computer programming... think it shld be fun.. hehee...

NUS bidding system for modules gives us alot of choices and a lot of possibilities... but it'a really a headache... NTU one is so much simpler... even the online learning facility is easier to use... in NUS... u can enter ur username password like ten times... once for logging on... den VPN.. den intranet... den CORS... den NUS space... den email... and the list goes on... kaozZ.... waste time!!! so many windows... my com will hang!!

yesterday i was late for vball.. very late... cos i over slept... den went to tj for training... match for the singapore open will begin on tuesday nite... very fast... dunno if can advance to the next round or not...

today's the day which i held the UnAmazing Race for 06/99... i wouldnt really call it a success, but nothing much screwed up lor... so i consider it okay... except for some small gliches here and there... hahaa.. but overall it's fine..

bbq at my place at the end of everything... got a lot of food to cook.. still got a lot left over.. hahaa.. wat a waste...

tml going to NUS super early in the morning cos got some inauguration ceremony... supposingly it's a super boring event... but just go lor... miss a lot of activities in school liaozZ.. already lagging behind a lot liaozZ... sianzZ....