2nd day of CNY.. things were better after eve.. nose and throat were slightly better... got quite a few ang baos.. and cos travel around to "bai nian" i incur very little personal expenses.. that's good.. considering i'm very poor now.. yesterday had dinner at spageddies@paragon.. first time eating there.. was expecting cartel-like food.. but i was wrong.. it was much better and and much more worth it... fulfilling dinner.. yesterday we were at cineleisure watching .. tonite we were there again but this time it's a huge family-matter.. although it's only like half of my maternal relatives, we had 20 tickets watching .. WOAH!! first time watch movie with so many relatives... interesting... hahaa.. think CNY is the only time i can mix better with my cousins..

today also went around visiting with my 4e khakis... it's been a yearly custom for us for years.. it's amazing how long this has been going on.. since we graduated.. or rather ever since CCHS we have been doing this.. in the early years.. we would take bus together from one house to another for CNY visiting... it's was fun taking a bus with a bunch of classmates.. years have past.. many things have changed.. but some things still seem the same.. or rather we have grown accustom to each others habits.. nowadays.. we drive around in a few cars... the bus crowd and evolved into a caravan of cars.. haha.. although the amount in the ang pao $$ hasnt really increased over the years.. but that was way besides the point.. haha..

Happy LUNAR NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE...

it's a lousy new year's eve for me... i'm sick!! flu.. coughing like mad.. and i feeling very very lethargic... for the pass few days.. it's just getting worst... this sucks... stayed at home after like 8plus... din go anywhere... not chinatown.. not marina... just at home.. so sianzZ.. so boring.. so irritating.. i'm SICK and BORED!!! this sucks... and i'm not getting and care and tenderness frm the only person that matters... this sucks even more... SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

end of the week again... only a few things worth mentioning since my last entry.. wednesday.. sheares won RH and is thru the next friday's finals.. i play my first game for sheares... seriously... i dun see the need for such hunger in such a game... my mentality for the game still stands... just play as u are happy... no point over-stressing... over-exerting.. over-reacting... after all it's a game.. at the end of the day it's suppose to make u happy...

thursday was a short day.. short short day... dear came to NUS to find me for lunch.. her CNY hols started since weds afternoon... shiok rite? yah... we went for lunch at engine canteen... after that we went shopping at orchard... the original plan was actually to go sing KTV... but both not feeling well.. so din go.. went shopping at world of sports.. got 40% off.. oh yah.. almost forgot to mention.. dear bought me a pair of new courts shoes... cos my old one stinks.. haha.. so nice of her rite??

today... we went orchard again... dear wanted to buy a pair of shoes which she din buy on thursday... but somehow.. there was only e display set left at paragon.. after checking, the salesgal told us.. it's a vailable at bugis.. so we rushed down.. in the end... we realise the bugis one not on offer.. so end up din buy... poor ger... we ate billy bombers for dinner.. very very long din eat liaozZ.. still taste quite good.. but dear order some CNY special.. not too nice.. den went chinatown shopping for clothes... i bought a shirt.. finally... but dear couldnt find anything she likes.. she is so so suay today... so kelian...

it's gonna be a busy CNY.. so many places to go... public holiday like no holiday... duhzZ... lagging behind in schoolwork too..

it's been more den a week since my last entry... this week starts tutorials... it's a disaster.. i missed my first accounting tutorial.. not by choice... but cos of my sleep-like-a-pigness.. anyway... it's really a disaster for now... cos i really dunno wat's going on in my tutorials... dunno how to do... i tot i understand the lectures.. but... well.. yah.. duhzZ...

i think i shld be frantically trying to keep up pace with the things happening around me... but.. aiyah... let things take it's course... shun qi zi ran lor...

just now went to watch the semis... NUS lost to SP after a seriously lack lustre performance.. seriously poor.. think that's the best description i can think of.. ppl ask me why i like so happy they lost... well the truth is.. i dun think they deserve to reach the semis in the first place..

yanli's gonna have a long long holiday for the festive season... and i'm gonna make her spend more time with me.. instead of her charis agatha lum "chai tou".. hahaa i'm so jealous of her newborn niece.. taking up all her time.. sobzZ.. hahaa.. time for me to fight back... come dear.. come... hahaha...

i went down to tp to watch vball today.. was suppose to be supporting NUS.. but they din really play well.. lost one set to Ngee Ann poly.. no wonder they lost 3-0 to SIM.. i was expecting NUS to at least take one set from SIM... surprising.. but the main attraction for me today is to watch NTU vs SIM.. NTU won 3-0 and won convincingly.. 2 factors won them the match.. all out defending.. and a magical setter... for non-volleyballers who were standing around me as i watched.. they were saying "wow, NTU's attacking is so strong.. SIM couldnt black any of their spikes.." but with a few years of volleyball experience and knowledge... one would easily realised it's the setter who controlled the match... NTU's setter in this case.. his deception in his setting, made almost every spike for his players an easy spike.. most of the time with only 1 blocker.. and even when there's 2 blockers, they wouldnt have enough time the close in in the bloack.. leaving a space in the middle of the blockers.. it's been a long time since i've seen such remarkable setting.. reminds me of the time i wanted to mimic his moves and deception... the result.. a clown act.. hahaa..

play badminton today.. yanli's improving with every game... maybe one day we can go enter some competition for fun.. hahaa... playing badminton quite often recently... esp cos now got yanli to play with me.. and she is good... heh..

tml.. morning basketball.. evening go back hall... ballot for tut.. and read up some lectures..

back in room again... 1st IHG match is officially over.. won EH quite convincingly.. i din get to play.. this makes me rethink my purpose.. my loyalty to the hall.. etc.. conclusion... this will be my last sem in hall... next sem onwards... HElloOO MRT... i have no believe in hall culture.. it was suppose to excite me... but somehow i've become inert to the hoo haa... i'm just a slient non-existent ninja.. living in huge almighty sheares hall.. hahaa.. and i'm okay with it... because not many ppl knows me.. i have the freedom to do watever i want..

i'm going home for the weekend now... zZzzZZzz...

back in hall.. back in school.. but that's only cos tonight got volleyball match.. not really excited about it... if i get to play den play... if dun have den so be it..

just now went to buy the rest of my textbooks... and so the total amount i spent on 5 irritatingly cheapskate looking textbook is $150.. kaozZ... never buy any book so expensive before... uni is expensive...

din go to school today... wanted to watch lectures online.. but somehow cannot load... but somehow.. i found a way to watch today's lecture... haven watch though... not purposely dun want to go school one... tml no lectures... so no go school...

school has finally started.. 6 modules for me this semester.. only just moved my stuff into hall.. personnally.. i'm still at home... not moving myself in yet... perhaps friday den move... haha..

i'm looking forward to chinese new year... and also the long long mid-yr break.. hahahaa..

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.. 2006 is here... and i wonder if it will be a good year for me.. i sure hope it will be a good year for myself.. but... we shall see how things turn out for myself...

i'll be taking 6 modules for the comming semester.. last sem i only took 4.. very soon.. IHG will be starting.. IVP will be starting even sooner, but i still wonder if i'm taking part in it or not. hahaa... i'm the laziest person around...

i regret to say my last year's resolution of losing weight did not materialise... although halfway thru there seemed to be signs of getting lighter.. but nope.. it was not to be.. the mass just bounce back like it never left.. hahaa... and it brought frends along.. duhzZ duhzZ.. i'm now above 100kg.. a historic milestone.. duhzZ even more..

so these will be my resolutions for the new year...

1. lose weight
2. pass IPPT
3. CAP > 3.5
4. be nice to yanli
5. make some frens

yah.. think that's about it for me.. the only thing i'm proud of achieving for this hols is that i revamp my room a little... shifted my cabinets ard... manage to create a little more space... wile the rest of the time was simply donated to the wonderful invention of the little box below my big black box ( SCV decoder below TV).. hahahaaa.......

it's been more den a week since i last blog... haven really been having a lot of thoughts in my mind... suddenly i seem to have quite a few ideas in my head... first was my exam results... seriously i'm quite surprised with my result... i din do exceptionally well... nor did i do very badly to my standards... but considering the amount of effort i put in for the last semester... i believe that this result is pretty much a miracle... i've got a B B+ and 2 B- and pretty respectable CAP of 3.33. yah... i was very surprised...

christmas was nothing really special... just spend some time with dear... think that's the best part of all lor... maybe it may seem selfish if i put it this way, but as long as she's around me... anyone else doesnt really mattered..

very soon new year's coming.. just a few days away... just like X'mas.. i still have not a single clue how to spent it... but i'm quite sure i wanna spent it with her.. hehee...

i have only one hermit crab left... the other one has been murdered too.. same murderer.. guess it's survival of the fittest... so much for hermit crabs being groupies... duhzZ....

it's been a long long time since i blog liaozZ... too lazy to come online recently.. been to only 2 training sessions.. one IVP one sheares... strenuous on my ankle... and so i rest since wednesday again... yah.. din go training.. din go frenly match.. well ankle more impt..

yesterday went to 4E class outing... quite fun.. ordered delivery from 933 golden pillow... alot of ppl came... long long long time no see faces... yah... quite nostalgic.. haha... went bowling after that... my scores quite good also... 165 for the 1st game... haha.. somemore went to cchs to take photos in the middle of the night...

just now went to airforce BOC bbq... also met quite a lot of my old colleagues and mnay also ORD liaozZ.... heard them complain abt a lot of things.. esp how things changed for the worst after we left.. hahaa... life was much better den... haha..

being my usual couch potato again... ask me wat is showing on cable tv everyday... i may be able to answer u quite promptly.. HA.. not very encouraging.. i still haven paxk up my room still looks like a sty.. aarrgghhh.. my whole house looks like a sty..

went back to tj for the gals camp... somehow my rght ankle giving me problem... at first still din think much into it.. but somehow it just got more and more painful... now... it's hurting like mad lar... cant walk also... limping limping... yesterday somemore "gey kiang" go jogging barefoot around the track... things just got worst... booozZ...

it's been awhile... i've been to malaysia over the weekend... the car rally was really quite boring... the only exciting part was the driving... finally i realise how small singapore is and how big malaysia is... and because of it's vastness, i can speed!! the legal speed limit is 110km/h can u believe that? call me sua gu.. but that's super exciting lar.. and the roads there all single lane one... den got alot of benbs and slopes... like initial D.. but this time got too many ppl on the car.. cannot drive crazily.. hahaha... anyway we got 3rd.. won $60 petrol voucher.. so so lame... i also got a taste of malaysia corruption... i was stopped along one of the roads... and booked for speeding.. that was crap lar.. i was travelling well well below the speed limit at the point.. but he insisted i was speeding.. and ask us to pay 300rm initially... but in the end he settled for 100rm.. so so disappointing...

today drove back to hall.. and i moved EVERYTHING back home liaoZZ.. yeah... 1 day gao dim.. by myself... yeah... i'm gonna revamp my room... rearrange everything... make it more working.. now it's only good for sleeping..

yesterday was supposed to go to bbq with tj vball ppl.. BUT!! i went to the wrong coasta sands... i went to the east coast one.. but they were at the pasir ris one.. so too bad lor.. no fate... so me and dear went to east coast waraku to eat.. good and cheap and big portion... shiok.. hehee...

so now.. i'm home... my first sem in NUS is kindda over... this is how i feel about my first term back in sch..

Social -

I had lots of difficulty trying to make frens.. it's may be cos of my course, most pple go lecture and tutorials in grps... so no getting to know of ppl except in CTW class.. CTW more interactive... so gotta know pple from there... think closest are my 2 grpmates... without them... i guess i would be much more helpless with my homework...

in hall, i missed orientation rather on purpose... which i believe is actually my biggest mistake... that made my interaction very hard in future, cos others were already in their own cliques... there i was kindda alone again... luckily i already knew some pple in hall.. but then still i was alone... in my room alone most of the time... breakfast alone... dinner alone... i have not had a single dinner nor breakfast with any of my hall-mates... wat a failure...

Study -

after 3 years of break from studying, being back in school is like a cultural shock... numbers make no sense... equations make no sense... physics make no sense... this term exam is exactly the result of my lost of touch... my expectations are low.. hopes are not high either.. so disappointment shldnt be too great... i hope.. after years of being ahead in the class... i find myself... at the bottom supporting everyone else above me... it sucks...

Volleyball -

volleyball in nus seems recreational for me... tell me to train competitively... i dun think i can do it or want to do it... i just dun have the hunger to train for such a goal... i no long have a direction in volleyball.. i dunno wat i want..

Overall -

i'm now in a state of ZERO motivation for anything and everything.. i have no idea wat i want.. i have no urge to do anything... no drive... no aim... no life... it suxX....

in exactly 2 hrs time.... my last paper for my first term exam will begin... and 2 hrs after that... all will be over... "the rice will be cooked" ; "the chicken will be slaughtered"... muahaha... life will be back to it's sloth-like state... hahahaa... nonono... must not be sloth-like anymore... must change.. make everyday a more meaningful day.... live everyday such that when the day ends, and i look back, i can say i have done something today... yes... that will be it... sleepingis considered something rite?? hahahaaa.....

feel a little better for my statics paper... hahaa.. cos i actually finished the whole paper... yah... it's open book paper... i like open book... hahahaa... cos can finish doing...

so one more paper left.... maths!! only one paper left to do!! yeah...

There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn