Bye Gong Gong & Po Po

About a week ago, I was told my grandfather was admitted to the hospital. He years of smoking in his early life has finally done him in. 


However it still does not change the fact how drastically his health deteriorated from when I met him just a few weeks back. I brought mooncake back for him and also my maternal grandparents. It was the first time I bought mooncake for my grandparents with money I've earned. That was a moment which I felt really proud of myself. 


Looking back now, I suddenly realized how much older everyone around me has become. Suddenly, I'm no longer the kid I was 10yrs back. We are so gradually thrown into new surroundings and adapt to them. That's growing up, but we won't notice it. There's simply no time to take a break and have a good look around us. 


Now grandfather has passed, and I'm at the funeral for the night again. There's time for me to quietly look around me. Look at those relatives I have. Look at all things that have happened in the past. There's no definitely right or wrong in all those past actions and the stories I've been told. It's all a matter of perspective. What's right to one can be very wrong to another. We have to learn to accept our differences. Not condone them, but accept that we are all different. And from a different pair of eyes, the world is a very different place and everyone also appears different to each individual.


I'm fortunate to have spent some part of my life living with him and my grandmother. And now, I want to write down some of the memories I have of them. So that 1 day, I may look back at it again if I forget. 


To me, my grandmother was plump old lady who likes to hug me whenever I arrive or leave for my Yishun home. She cooks and is also a full-time couch potato. She likes to watch TV, sometimes it does seem she doesn't really get the storyline but at least the shows were entertaining back then. Remember those days when SBC was actually entertaining rather than propagating? 


She usually sits at the 3-seat sofa in front of the TV, she would have a pillow behind her back so that she could lean back onto the arm rest and watch TV. She would very often watch TV until she fell asleep. Sometimes I feel she's needs the TV to get asleep. 


She's always concerned about is having enough food, food is always plenty when we are there. During CNY, there's always Shark's Fin Soup. Come to think about it, it's been 10 yrs since I last had it from her. I miss the table full of food during CNY. 


Those were the days when MRT had just begun, she had fears about taking the train, it just seemed too alien for her and she didn't want to walk to the stations. I remember she would sometimes come stay with me at the Yishun house during holidays, she would take a cab. Costed less than $10 to get from Commonwealth to Yishun then. 


Grandfather was a quiet man, thin guy. He doesn't talk much, grandma usually does most of the talking it seems. He was a cook at a hotel, I don't really remember if I've ate anything which he has cooked cos the chef at home is usually grandma. He's a tough man healthy most of his life, smoking and alcohol seems to be his simple pleasures after work. He doesn't talk much and my memories of him are little. I do remember that he always sits in the single seater chair next to the alter, facing the TV.

He seems to like shopping at cold storage, I remember he once brought me to Queenstown, which was pretty much like the town centre back then. We ate something there, can't remember what, but I do remember he bought some frozen fried stuff back. Most probably fish fingers or scallops. Those were among my favourites.

Hearing some of the old stories some of my uncles talk about their time with grandma and grandpa gave me new insights and new perspectives into their personalities. My memories of them are bits and pieces, we see things at face value, not really knowing why they did certain things in particular ways. These stories for others make the image of them as a person, slightly more complete.

In his final days I visited him at the hospital quite often. I was there the night before he left, I felt proud to be the grandson who could still communicate with him in hainanese but it was difficult to find the right thing to say. Each night before I left I told him, "I'm getting married next year, you need to get well because I want you to be at my wedding."  The 1st night I went, he could not respond, I was not even sure if he could see me. On the last night, his eyes were bright and wide and I was very sure he could see me clearly. He responded to us and nodded when I told him he needs to get better to attend my wedding.

I was happy when I left that night, but sadly he left the next morning. I knew he tried to stay.