Confessions of a Undermotivated guy

I DID NOT GO TO SCHOOL TODAY AGAIN!!!

I woke up around 7plus, but i fell asleep again. Arrgghh. The next time i woke up, it's 10 plus which is too late for any lessons, cos my day will end at 12pm today. So i just went back to sleep again, and by doing that i totally forgot i had to go for a survey at School of Computing. That survey pays $15, aarrgghh. There goes my $$. Seriously, i don't feel too bad about missing today's lessons, cos only a few hours. I'll try to go for tml's lesson. Hehee..

HOWEVER,

I did make it to training in Tj, although, i felt i was rather not involved in their training. Only did a few drills which i did not feel was quite achieving the results that we were looking for. Gotta find other ways to train their mobility on the court. To me that's their BIGGEST problem now and PT may not be the best way to do it. PT makes them move around, but that doesnt mean they will transfer that moment into the court. I think training should revolve around the court, make them move towards the ball as an aim to achieve. We shall see.

Sidetrack -

I just finished watching the 1st leg of the Asean Championship Finals and to my surprise. Singapore won by 2 to 1. It's a match with a HUGE controversy. Singapore was level at 1-1 till around the 82nd min, when a penalty was awarded to Singapore. Although it doesnt really look like a penalty, but that's the kind of things that happen in soccer, or rather all sports. Referee's are human, they don't make the best decisions all the time, but we still have to respect their decisions and get on with the game. What's ridiculous here was Thailand's response to the penalty decision, the Thai Captain, simply rallyed his players and immediately walked of the pitch and they refused to carry on with the game! Oh my god, that's the first time i've ever seen something this unsporting at this sort of level. For goodness sake this is an international match that's telecasted across the region. The worst part was that the Thai coaches & managers seemed to condone their players actions. This will be remembered by all who are watching this match as THE most humiliating thing the Thai soccer team ever did. They were always known as the soccer Kings of Southeast Asia, after this episode i really wonder how low their popularity will drop. Sheeesshhh..

It's more than just NUS

Looking at the past few posts, it's seems as if my life has just been taken over by NUS. But that's just not the case, in fact i would be rather please with myself if that were the case. At least i wun have to be worrying about my homework everyday and lagging behind, like i am now. School is supposed to be taking up a huge part of my time at this stage of my life, but i've been wasting a lot of time in front of my TV and my laptop. Sometimes, well most of the time when i'm wanting to do work, i get sick of it even before starting to do it. and so, i switching on my laptop or tv and start wasting my time away. successful people are those are are able to turn away from TV & computers and DO WORK..

if i were to sectionalise the times and activities for the past few weeks it should look something like this:

sleeping - 15%
eating, drinking, traveling + other miscellaneous stuff- 10%
school related - 20%
volleyball - 20%
lazing away + watching TV + laptop - 35%

a little off balance i would say... time for some time and activity restructuring.. first, i've gotta work on my sleep,

more sleep = more work done, less sleep = less work done.

and i really MUST stick to my 2 hr/day entertainment time.. aarrgghhh...

3 weeks of school

This week is filled with ups and downs... missed a few days of lessons cos i was just feeling super low.. but on the days i went to school i felt i've learnt something from the lessons.. however after the lessons i face the cruel reality that i'm still laggin behind and the gap justs seems to get greater & greater..

going back to tj for volleyball has been really enjoyable for me.. winning or losing is never the main point even though no one wants to be on the losing side.. the main thing is to enjoy the game and have people who enjoy the game with me...

it's piling up on my mind, i really want a car.. any car will do... i just want my own transport...

2nd week of school

In a blink of an eye another week has past... i would say i've gain slightly more in this week than the last... however i feel the greatest knowledge i've gained is the alarming fact that my workload is actually quite heavy.. because there's reading to be done very week, there's not just tutorials, but essays & reading summaries... feels as if i'm taking a lot of arts modules.. and there are also quite a few lab projects to be done.. labs are no longer just 3 hrs in the lab.. do some dumb experiment and submit a few pages of writen report at the end of everything.. labs this semester involve planning, data collection and analyses and finall consolidation and report, which could take up to a few weeks.. OMG... and there still volleyball training everyday for me.. now i think not being able to play in the IVP may just be a blessing in disguise.. i just hope to get thru this sem safely with good results..

1 Week of School

After my first week of school nothing much was achieved. I've missed everything since wednesday. stay at home, din go school, din go for volleyball. I ask myself, why am i killing myself? by not going to school, i miss lectures. I get lost with the procedings in my modules. Not wise at all.

By not going for vball, i miss training chances. I will be deem irresponsible by my players. I'm diggin my own grave. It's time to buck up and set my priorities straight. Yes, i need to set my priorities straight.. SCHOOL, VBALL, ENTERTAINMENT. not the other way away...

1st day of School

Just spent my 1st day in school for the new semester. Only 1 lecture today, quite boring, but i have to endure, cos i sense more coming. Arrgghh.. gotta jia you.

This semester, there will be 2 main focus for me. School work and TJ. IVP is now officially out of the picture, cos i'm not in the team. not too big of a surprise though i wanted to be on the team. at my present physical state i dun have much to offer anyway. shall just respect the decision. meanwhile i will stick to my 10 things for 2007 to get into better shape, and i'll fight for a place next year.

haven spent much time with yanli lately, cos her grandfather just past away. yah, i've been to the wake. i've only seen his grandfather once b4, and was not introduced to him. anyway, she's been spending a few nites at the wake already, poor thing.

One Litre of Tears

this is a simple tribute to the very touching and encouraging drama " 1 litre of tears" its a story about a young gal who was diagnosis with a terminal disease which would lead her paralysed and and all other body functions like speach, and finally death. it's about her struggles while having this terminal illness and staying positive and cheerful. although its a very very sad story with an inevitable ending, it's in fact very encouraging and inspiring.

below are just some links to find out more about the show...







http://wwwz.fujitv.co.jp/tears/index.html

http://www.fujitv.co.jp/en/program/previous_prog/d_oneliteroftears.html

http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Ichi_Rittoru_no_Namida

http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Ichi_Rittoru_no_Namida/SynopsisEpisode

here's some clips from YouTube..

HAPPY 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR.. HAPPY 2007..

it's a new year and i've started it by watching DEATH NOTE Marathon... i think it's quite good show. it's quite thrilling, watching the ruthlessness of Light just sends the chills down my spine. In order to achieve and maintain his twisted form of justice, he is willing to sacrifice everyone. The main characters for this movies are very well created, every role intrigued. Well, Light is ruthlessly interesting, "L" is a JOKE, Misa's real adorable(her total obedience and infatuation of Light is just so perfect!! :P) so is Light's sister & gf(whom was killed by Light), but most of all the biggist star of the movie is RYUK, the Shinigami(God of Death). RYUK is totally computer animated, but he is the character with filled the corniest and lamest expressions anyone could have, he single handedly convert this suspense thriller into a comedy.

In a nutshell, this is a good show to watch for many reasons. There must be at least one reason which makes the show entertaining for u.

So now we, step into 2007, and the 10 habits for myself will kickstart very very soon... :)

Cookies

This shld be considered a backdated post.. i just wanna share what i have done for yanli for this year's X'mas... so now let the pictures do the talking... :P

10 Habits for a successful KELUN in 2007

It's the time of the year when ppl start thinking about new year resolutions again. time and time again, i've set out tasks for myself to achieve.

these are my resolutions for this year:

1. lose weight
2. pass IPPT
3. CAP > 3.5
4. be nice to yanli
5. make some frens

out of which, i only achieved being slightly nicer to yanli, and that's only my opinion. the rest of my tasks i failed terribly. perhaps i was setting my goals a little to high. i shld be looking at the smaller steps first. so these will be my 10 things to remind myself for 2007

1. ask for less carbs in my meals(ie. less rice/noodles). reducing diet slowly, make myself eat less, even when i'm very tired after workout.
2. spend at max $3 meal, especially when in school.
3. buffets only happen once a month, so does pig trotters.
4. visit my swimming pool at least twice a week, at least 45mins each time. anyone who wanna join me please do so by informing me at least a day prior.
5. max of 2hrs of tv+games+ each weekday. 6hrs on weekends.
6. at least 3hrs each day on concentrated studying(excluding lesson hrs). to achieve this i'll have to spend time before/in between/after lessons in school cos to home just doesnt work.
7. dun put on a glum face for anyone, try to smile more, even for strangers, but especially for people i know
8. be nicer to people around me, dun reject helping just because i'm lazy(as long as i rethink why i reject helping ppl, most of the time is cos i'm lazy. but if u ask me at that pt, i just come up with some lame reason.)
9. at least 6 hrs of continuous sleep each day, (ie. sleep by 1am)
10. finally make sure i stick to all my above rules. people around me who see me, please help me by reminding me. thanks!!!

so that's it, i believe these 10 habits will help me make 2007 a successful year for myself and the people around me.

Results

I've gotten my results for last sem yesterday, it was rather disappointing actually, 3 sems into NUS, and my best grade is only a B+, and that was in my 1st sem. Anyway, this sem alone, my CAP was 3.2, last sem was 2.0, first sem was 3.3. All in all, a pretty discouraging CAP of 2.76, but it was some improvement.

next sem, i'm going to challenge myself. i'm going to take 6 modules, 4 core, 1 yr 1 module(retaking cos got F), and 1 Sg studies module. well that's not the challenge, it's studies plus vball.. i'm going to participate in IVP and also coach back in TJ.. i think this really sounds challenging. time is of the essence. no time to waste at all. must keep working non-stop. no more watching cable, playing games.

Now, all i really need is a transport. if only i could afford my own car, a small one will do... :P

Boxing Day

Christmas is over and it's boxing day, a day when all presents will be unwrapped. this shld be the happiest day of the holiday season for most kids. alas, i'm no longer a kid, so this day doesnt seem to hold much meaning for me. ya, that's cos i dun have any presents to unwrap. :(

i guess this yr's christmas is one of the most uneventful one i've ever spent. literally did almost nothing except eat and sleep through the day. but the weirdest part is still this feeling of depression which sort of engulfed me, from the moment i woke up. from that point on, i had a frowning, sulking face hanging for the rest of the day. i think that kindda spoilt yanli's christmas too. i'm sorry. i tried to explain to myself why i would feel so down. but as i look for answers i found TOO many, that kindda made me felt worst.

so i have so many things to feel down about? exam results, sch reopening, coaching, packing up my stuff.

i was still alrite on christmas eve, was still sending everyone "merry X'mas" messages.. was watching "A night in the museum", i think i started becoming quiet during the show, everyone was laughing away, while i was giving only a quiet grin. i din know wat was going thru my head then... but i guess i know now, cos there seems to be endless stuff for me to do and time seems to be slowly creeping away from me. and this sucks, i guess...

supposed to have volleyball training this morning, but i have been coughing the whole day since yesterday, so i gave it a miss. i wanted to go for training, cos i thought i would make me feel better, forget abt all the down stuff. but the coughing was really killing me.. *cough* Cough*

exam results will be out tml... *fingers crossed*

1st Test Of Skills

this morning tj gals got their first taste of somewhat competitive volleyball. they had a frenly match with cchs. physically the cchs gals seem rather tall, though they were only 14/15 yr olds. the results turned out to be rather disappointing, tj lost 4-1. cchs wasn't considered a strong opponent, but basics wise they have a much stronger background compared to our gals. it was a matchup that was decided on who made the most mistakes. successful attack were far and few. what's encouraging was that most of the players in the courts were not the strongest we have. i would say that our key players would be yumei, shiyun & vanessa. among them, yumei and vanessa only play one set, and shiyun was still in thailand. the team was made of of quite a few beginners like yanting and alicia, both played pretty well. i hope that this match has given them a glimpse of the arduous task they have ahead of them. it's an uphill battle, but they have to understand they are not alone.

oh yah, meiyan - thanks for the socks. haha..

Busy Day

it's been a long long week. there was quite a few unusual things had happened in this short span of 5 days. mainly related to volleyball training. but i felt the most disappointing thing with regards to training is their attendance. compared to the beginning when i took over, the attendance this week was pathetic, yesterday only 4 guys turns up for training, plus one more whose appeal to tj was rejected, so 5 guys. i was having a huge headache as to wat drill to conduct, if i were to do PT instead, it would be double strenuous for a small group. really headache. gals attendance still not to bad, the least was 8, but that's like half the original number of them. sometimes i wonder, if it's me coaching them, that's y they feel that training is not as impt, that would have been very very depressing for me.

there were also incidents with a player struggling to cope with progress in training, which led to the involvement of tj's 2 VPs to talk to me. well, i thought i would have been able to handle them well, and i thought i did. but when wanyang spoke to them, i realise the way i spoke was rather, kiddish. anyway, the matter was somewat resolved. all in all i am confident in my responsibilities, i know wat are the personalities and intricacies i shld take note of, i believe i did not fail.

yesterday's the last training for this holiday. training will only resume after school reopens, which is only like less than 2 weeks later, at the same time, my school term will start too, and IVP will also kick into action. I have a huge question mark now, as to how i'm suppose to juggle all these stuff happening at the same time. but these will be my priority list:

1. school
2. tj coaching
3. IVP

this will be a test for me, in the past i've turn away many times when faced with time issues. next sem i would really have to juggle my time carefully, cos i wun have much or even any to spare.

there's 2 gatherings going on yesterday, one at kaiyu's place, the other at esther's place. i decided to go to kaiyu's place first to grab some food before going to esther's it turn out to be a rather wrong choice. wasted quite a lot time at esther's place rotting away. i left kaiyu's place too early, so din take photo with them. quite sad abt that cos alot of ppl from our class turn up. but i did take some photos over at esther's place, quite happy about that, but pity ZZ left too early, she was in such a persistant mood to leave. none of us could stop her. duhzZ...

anyway, the photos will be uploaded into the fotopic site very soon. just remember to check the side bar for updates.

Here comes Week 2

I'm looking forward to my 2nd week in charge of the tj vball teams. I need to instill more discipline and self-responsibility in the players. after a week, i can tell that some are commited to learning the game. while some simply are there just to waste time, both mine and theres. thankfully, i see hope. cos most of them listen and has shown progress and changes in attitude. let's see if i'm really cut out to be a coach in the coming week.

At the same time, NUS will be coming down to tj for their trainings. It's gonna be taxing for me.. coachings monday to friday, plus nus trainings tues and thurs. woah.. time to get fit fit fit..

Coaching is Fun yet Taxing

Today i have a break from having to coach everyday, cos badminton's having camp in school today, so guys training was actually brought forward to yesterday.

Finally, i'm getting a hang of the traits of coaching. it's not as easy as it looks. but once put your mind too it, it's not that hard. as long as u think on the line of improving your players potentials, life becomes much easier as long as you know what to be done. the initial stages is the toughest cos i'm not familiar with them yet, nor do i know wat their strengths and weaknesses are. but i believe as training progresses, i'll be able to understand them better and coaching will become more effective.

End of Training Week 1

today i had my 1st solo training session, had to lead the tj guys through training.. having a solo makes me understand the difficulties in being a coach. when there's a another coach around, all i had to do was follow instructions, carry out the training drills, pick out their mistakes and correct them. when i lead, i have to so all of the above and decide what drills to carry out and sometimes, not all drills are effective. sometimes the effectiveness is not there, depending on the mentality of the players. that's another huge thing to deal with, the personalities of all these players, some have huge egos, others seem as if they are autistic.

basically, it's a difficult task handling training. it makes me appreciate coaches and other teammates who make the effort to conduct trainings. luckily wanyang came down today to help out in training. otherwise i would be quite lost.

there's just one other irritating thing about going back to tj, u have to face the brainless OM idiot.. and some dumb security guards.. picks on me for wearing slippers into school and not signing in.. one of the guards recognises me, so it's usually fine for me to just go in.. but when that dumb OM is around he bitches about slippers.. and this morning.. i waved at the security guard, he smiled back at me, and i just walking in, but there this other one who seem quite lost.. and apparently he when to report to OM abt me not signing in.. WAT an Asshole.. den OM came to find me at the court and KPKB.. saying he can call police.. blah blah blah... in a nutshell.. a waste of my time.. almost spolit my day...

It's the End.. It has COME!!

hehee.. exams are finally over.. although i dun think i'll get fantastic results.. but i think i wun fail any.. yah.. time to have fun for the rest of the holidays.. oh yah.. my holdays have started.. hahaha...

next up will be a month filled with volleyball trainings. both being trained and training others... first official stint as a trainer... time to gain experience for future development...

Day 3 - 2nd Last Day!!

3rd paper of the exams is over.. seemed do-able.. but that's not a good sign for us.. esp when there's plenty of foreigners in our cohort.. i just hope they dun all get full marks.. that would totally destroy my chance of getting a good result.. anyway... i felt more confident after doing this paper comapred to the last 2.. simply cost i was able to answer more qns.. just for the sake of ppl who dun know my exam format.. for all my papers this semester.. there's only 4 qns, each worth 25 marks... maybe it's coincidence.. maybe not..

went to eat ma la huo guo again for a 2nd time this week.. quite shiok.. haha.. this stall that i go to doesnt make my ass burn the next day.. so it's good.. :P i'll do a small write up soon at my food site.. stay tuned yah??

oh yah.. most imptly.. 2nd last day of exams.. tml is last paper.. and it's open book!! yeah!!

End of Exam Day 2

Day 2 has ended.. i'm half way thru the exams.. and i'm pretty depressed about my progress so far... i know i wun be able to get any As from the last 2 papers.. and i doubt i'll be getting any from the next 2 papers as well..

depressing sums up my feelings for this examination till now..

the bravest man, recovers from defeat and strive into victory..

well, i'm the laziest brave man, and the dummest too.. why??

cos i always recover from defeats, and strive to work harder, but i always lose steam in the end, just cos i was too lazy to carry on.. and why am i e dummest... cos i will repeat the whole procedure again very very soon... it's worst than a vicious cycle, it's a vicious cycle that i cant escape from...