State of Play

Watched on 10th June 2009
@ Cineleisure Orchard

What exactly is the relationship of journalists and politicians? Who's using who? Are the reporters getting to politicians just to get a scoop, the next big news? Or are the politicians just using the reporters to spread the desired proganda to aid watever their agenda?

Well, this movie tries to make us even more confused, cause it's a thriller and a mystery. Trust me, you will have tons of questions at the start of the show. And everytime you thin ku have the answer, the show suceeds in giving you a new question.

Despite convincing acting performances by the main actors, I still feel the plot rather shallow, perhaps it's cause this movie is actually an adaptation of a 6 part mini-series into just 2 hrs. Thus the plot does feel thin at times.

Ben affleck's character is ULTRA-flawed in this movie. How does such a person even become a politician in the first place?? And also the link to private contractors for military operations. It seems like this is a big topic in US nowadays, cos this same issue has also been used to poke on in the series 24, season 7.

Spikefire ratings: 6 out of 10>

Favourite Lines:

Cal to his crew: Setup the cameras, we are going to record him talk
Frye: What makes you think he is going to talk?
Cal: He will be scared, he'll talk.
Frye: How? Why?
Crew: Cal is going to scare him.

Official Website

Pictures

Blood

Watched on 7th June 2009
@ The Cathay

This movie is based on a popular japanese manga. It basically revolves around a girl named Saya, she is a hybrid human-vampire. Her father was human and mother was a vampire. Her father is a vampire slayer and and was killed by the most evil and vile vampire ever. This movie blurs the difference between vampire & demon, it's basically the same thing in this show. Anyway, this show is kind of abt the path of Saya to seek revenge for this father, while somehow getting entangle with an american girl, who so happens to be the daughter of the Airforce Base General, stationed in Japan.

The whole storyline doesnt really makes much sense to me, especially the ending parts. Really confusing.

The special effects are not fantastic either, reminds me of "hidden dragon, crouching tiger" aka very long time ago!! Perhaps cos it's the SAME PRODUCER!!!

Saya is played by "My Sassy Girl" star, Jun Ji Hyun, or Gianna Jun for the english fans. She's still as cool as ever.

Spikefire ratings: 6 out of 10>

Official Website

Pictures

A week after 27...

It's been a week since I turned 27, do i feel anything special happening to me?

Nope.

Do I feel like the future is clearer and brighter yet?

Nope.

BUT!!! I'm not too worried, cos "when the boat nears the dock, the boat will naturally align to the berth"

I'm not been rotting the whole days since my last post. Just part of the day for each day. hahaa.

I finally went back to TJ for a coaching session. And I quite liked it, Now the challenge is to maintain that enthusiaism..

My last post, I said there aint much celebration for my birthday this yr. But I had a wonderful weekend arranged by my WONDERFUL dear. it's simply nice and cosy and SHIOK!!!!

I've finally arrange for a new debit card replacement a few days ago, my currently looks like tattered newspaper. And I just received today. Quite efficient.

I've fixed my Adobe Premiere Activation problem on my desktop. It now works!!

I been following and watching Aviva open at the Indoor Stadium. There are certain matches that were really exciting. I even cycled to the Stadium, and yes, my bike is back in working condition, abt a 100bucks of parts replacement and enhancements, it's now working fine.

Today's Aviva matches are the 2 round of competitions and I witnessed 2 HUGE upsets. The top 2 seeds for mens singles were ousted from the competition by relative unknown players. Both games stretched into 3 sets and scores were ultra close. And the results of both games were identical, the underdaugs rule the courts today. Out goes crowd favourite Lee Chong Wei, majority of the supporters are rooting for him. Singaporeans will support malaysia and singapore is out of the picture, which actually mean most of the time. HAHAA!

27 years... random thoughts

I've felt that my best years have past me. And I still do everyone now and then. Aching here and there and everywhere after each exercise or sports session doesnt help either. But i've realised i've been focusing too much on being unhappy with myself. It's time to enjoy and be happy and grateful abt all the SMALL little happy things that happen, which I've taken for granted. For example,

to be able to eat, sleep, drink
to be able to go on holidays
to be able to play sports (even though not fantastically well)

So basically, i shld be happy.. just stop comparing, it's human to compare, thus it's also human that someone else always seems to be leading a better life. The fact = it's not better, just different.

I've not had much of a celebration for my bday this year, but it's fine, I dun have much intention of a celebration myself. But i was quite surprise that my facebook greetings are actually pretty active, so thanks guys. I do appreciate it. :)

I've finally uploaded photos for the Tioman trip. Not all just selected majority.

Terminator : Salvation

Watched on 30th May 2009
@ Cineleisure lvl 9

Storyline of this 4th installation revolves around 2 characters. The familiar John Connor and the pivot of this installation, Marcus Wright. The timeline is in the future, continuing from T3, Judgement Day has passed and humans are fighting a semmingly futile war against the machines. John is not the leader of the resistance, NOT YET.

There is much nostalgia in watching this new movie. Many parts of the show reminds you of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the first 2 installments. I liked that. I also like the fact that the show somehow proposes that humans can win the war, cos humans are not robots, and the human heart is stronger than any robot can imagine.

Spikefire ratings: 7 out of 10>

Favourite Lines: (classic Arnold lines reused)

Kate Connor: What should I tell your men when they find out you're gone?
John Connor: I'll be back.

Kyle Reese: Come with me if you want to live.

Official Website

Pictures

Freaky dream

I think i had a weird dream. I was going to play volleyball with the bunch of people I played last week. But this time we had a different training ground. We were at the pool. We werent just swimming, we were playing water polo. I was the goalie, and it was damn tiring, so tiring that I felt DAMN TIRED when i woke up.

Back to the dream, we were playing in the pool, I was trying every opportunity to make a good pass and after passes and passes, I felt my shoulder go limb. I could not exert any more strength. It's like my arm just went paralysed. It was really terrifying I tell u. I continued playing supporting my right shoulder with my left hand and played on.

Somehow the game stopped after a while. then we were all sitting at the viewing area next to the pool ( the area with huge steps that act like benches??). Then someone who seemed like the captain came along and started talking. blah blah blah, den finally the words I remembered was, we need to start a running regime, gals need to clock 11km every week and guys 23km every week!! OMG!! this is a nightmare!!

And that's abt when everything went black... and the next thing I know I was awake... Freaky ya?

blog blog...

I've really struggled to get myself back to his page. For the past few days, i've been sortta hooked on this facebook game called restaurant city. It's really quite fun. The aim of the game is simple, just build and runa restauran, however you like it. I'm now aiming for a simple rundown restaurant.. poor outlook but good food, hahaa.. and lots of toilet bowls. It might look more like a public toilet than a restaurant.

Anyway, a few moments ago, i randomly saw a comment by a friend abt this "diana li' on youtube. So out of curiousity, I search, and thankfully it's not a virus. haha.. it's this girl from US, California, who can sing really really well. Great voice. When I looked into her other videos. It's not just her, her 2 other sisters are equally wonderful. Amazing sisters if u ask me. Here's some of the videos.

Night At The Museum 2

Watched on 23rd May 2009
@ Lido

The sequel to the 2006 Night at the Museum. This installation like the previous boasts a stellar cast of great actors. Robin Williams, reprises his role as Teddy Roosevelt, a legendary president of USA. It's a great show for the family. Wholesome adventure for the family, good triumphs evil.

The production team managed to conjure up a few new special effects for this sequel, which are all pretty cool! Effects are life-like as is the marvel of movie magic nowadays. Everything fake just looks so so real.

Final recommendation, watch it if you like simple entertainment. I know I was entertained.

Spikefire ratings: 7 out of 10>

Official Website

Pictures

$ell Out

Watched on 20th May 2009
@ The Cathay

This is an interesting movie. No regrets watching it, only regret there aint more movies like this. This is shown at the Venice Film Festival, but trust me when i say this movie is pure entertainment. It's a malaysia movie, in english, with some lame references to singapore. The acting is, well somewhat like a musical. In fact it's really close to a musical.

But!! the storyline does feel a little ridiculous. It started out as a serious movie, slowly changing to a comedy then a musical came in somewhere along the way accompanied by a tinge of fantasy or shld i say classic asian ghost genre.

Spikefire ratings: 7 out of 10>

Favourite Lines:

Big Boss of Fony Conglomerate: no buts! i hate people who "but" me. Did u just "but" me?

Coolest Item:

10 in 1 soya bean product maker, includes soya milk, bean curd, tau pok, tau hway, soya sauce.. blah blah blah..

Official Website

Pictures

Angels & Demons

Watched on 18th May 2009
@ The Grand Cathay

Tom Hanks is back as Professor Robert Langdon, as the great actor he is, I have forgotten he is Tom Hanks and totally believed that he was Robert Langdon. That's the attractiveness of this movie. It's not a short movie, but it just captivates me to watch on. Great work by the director to translate that same captivity from the book to the big screen.

The movie storyline follows very closely to the book, at least I do not remember any major differences. Therefore it is a good representation of the storybook. This will definitely serve as a good appetizer to the book if you are not an avid reader. this movie will kick start your interest in Dan Brown books.

Spikefire ratings: 8 out of 10>

Favourite Lines:

Inspector Olivetti: [on hearing Langdon's description of Pius IX's "Great Castration" of Vatican City's male statues] Are you anti-Catholic Mr. Langdon?
Robert Langdon: No. I'm anti-vandalism.



Official Website

Pictures

Back from Tioman!!

Just got back from an exciting weekend at Tioman. Went with a few of my 4e ppl, and Taina from Finland too. The journey there was quite horrendous actually. The road in M'sia have always been "wonderfully" rollercoaster-like, to add to that torture, we were traveling on a mini-bus or van(whichever you would like to call it). When people say the journey is the fun, yeah... they are really really "FUN". The journey really drained us for the rest of the day. we managed to reach our resort by evening and there was nothing much we could do.. the good thing is we manage to catch the sunset. And it was quite pretty.

2nd day is the fun day, spent the morning on the beach, great sun, but i manage to convince yanli to stay out of direct sunlight, choose "slow cooking" opposed to "rapid deep frying" under the sun. I think it turned out to be a good choice. Cos I think we were the least burnt at the end of the day. the rest who ventured under direct sun. we had a half day snorkeling trip planned for the afternoon, and that was more SUN!! Now i'm so proud of myself. I dun look like a boiled lobster!! btw, snorkeling is FUN!! I just had to try to get over the initial methods of manuveuring myself around on the water and not get myself drinking too much water. the view at certain places were quite fantastic. Among the stuff I saw, fishes (too many species which i do not know), clown fish aka nemo, stingray, giant sea turtle (GIANT!!), sea urchins, really colourful corals (dead ones too), crabs. it was great!!

On paper it's a 3d2n trip, but the truth it's only a 1d2n, cos the rest of it was spent on the journey. so next time if I got to tioman, I would really take the plane. even though it's $300+ more, i think it's worth the time. And really really spares us the discomforts of the multiple-leg-travelling..

i did not take much photos, just some with my camera, but i'm trying to get pictures from the rest as soon as possible so that I could post them on my photo site...

Star Trek

Watched on 10th May 2009
@ GVmax Vivocity

This is a new version of the Star Trek story. Past versions have always talked abt the future. A future that's shared by Captain Kirk and Spock. Here in this version, an old yet interesting twist is applied to the storyline.

We look back at how this 2 legendary characters finally got together on their adventures, and yet it's not the old story. That's the interesting part. Well, let's not spoil the fun.

It was one of my favourite childhood fantasy movies. It's now a fantasy, action, comedy. Simply fantastic. Director JJ Abrams did a wonderful job to bring Star Trek back to life. I do truely hope for further installments done in similiar manner.

Also I find need to mention a role by the original Spock, Eric Bana plays the villain. Even Winona Ryder has a role, which I did not notice until I saw the credits!! hahaa..

Spikefire ratings: 9 out of 10

Favourite Lines:

Scotty: I've never beamed 3 people from 2 locations onto 1 platform before!

Spock: Live long, and Prosper.

Official Website

The Horsemen

This movies does not appeal initially. And I watched it only because i've watched everything else. But it turned out pretty well. It's a suspense thriller. Starring Dennis Quaid whom I find acts in stereotypical roles. His has been typecast!! Zhang Ziyi is also in the movie, i think she's the biggest name in the movie. And it's been impressive from her. Acting as sinister as can be.

The story links with christianity, or just a certain perspective of it. It's really amazing how 1 bible can spawn the millions of interpretations which in turn become so many diversed movies.

Anyway this one is rather gruesome. NC16 for that purpose. Sometimes u just have to squirm.

I rate this movie 6 out of 10, even though it's interesting, i doesnt give me too much of a surprise. i expected the ending quite early on..

Exams are over!!

Today my exams are officially over!! Now I only have to bother about my FYP, which I've yet to start on anything. But i'll worry abt that later.

3 papers in 2 days, I think I did ok, should be able to pass. I'm not expecting good results, just a pass is fine with me. It doesnt really affect me anymore. :p

X Men: Origins, Wolverine

X Men Origins, this movie reveals the true beginnings of Wolverine. The character that catapulted hugh jackman to mega stardom. So this story is abt his past..

It began from his childhood, showing his relations with another mutant, Sabretooth. It's quite cool actually, it's kindda love hate. there's immense competition going on with the 2 characters. It's exciting.

i watched this movie with the intention to really find out more abt wolverine's past, and yes this movie delivery wonderfully on that count. the pace of the movie was good, fast and furious and keeps you pinned right to the seat.

it even got me re-watching X Men 1 to 3 all over again.

i rate this movie 9 of 10.

Favourite Lines:

Wade Wilson: Great, stuck in an elevator with 5 guys on a high protein diet.
Wade Wilson: Oh Wade!
Wade Wilson: Dreams really do come true.
William Stryker: Now just shut it! You're up next.
Wade Wilson: Thank you sir, you look really nice today. It's the green, it brings out the seriousness in your eyes.
Logan: Oh my God, do you ever shut up, pal?
Wade Wilson: No, not while I'm awake.

Official Website

The International

This movie is kindda TOO long and draggy. It's abt an international bank which grew so powerful, it gets involved with issues on the wrong side. it's kindda like the economic crisis. The banks mess up and yet they are TOO big and important to let them die!

The acting of naomi watts and clive owen doesnt really add much value to the movie.

Mainly cos I think the plot is weak and storyline development is rather boring. Oh the worst part? the ending doesnt excite me at all!!

Rating: 2/10, the 2 goes to the 2 leads for making an effort to really act.

Official Website

17 Again

Do you know when you worst moment in your life is?? Wouldnt it be nice if you get a 2nd chance at that worst decision u think u've made in your life?

That's the story of "17 Again" starring Zac Efron and also my fave Eurotrip star, Michelle Trachtenberg. Of cos there are other stars, but who cares? haha..

This is not just another teen flick, it's a serious movie about making the right choices.

NAH!!

It is a teen flick..

But teen flicks are entertaining and this movie has done that very well. Real conry bits here and there. Watch out for the goofy elven talk. haha.. pretty cool i tell you.

8 out of 10, it serves it's full purpose as a comedy and teaches some good moral lessons, that's if you are ever going to pay attention to them.

Well if u didnt, the moral of the story is, "Dun dwell into your bad decisions, STOP IT!! Or you will miss out on the best decision you'll ever make!!"

Favourite Line:

Ned Freedman: It's a classic transformation story. Are you a Norse God?
Mike O' Donnell: No?
Ned Freedman: Are you or have you ever been a time traveling cyborg or a vampire?
Mike O' Donnell: I have know you since what, first grade? I think that maybe I would have told you!
Ned Freedman: Vampire wouldn't tell, Cyborg wouldn't know.

Official Website

Mayday Weekend

I brought Taina to meet up with my 4e gang, on Mayday, it was supposed to be a warm up session, so that they could get to know one another before embarking on our tioman trip. I personally think it went quite well. Perhaps there shld be a few more, break more ice.

Played bowling for the first time in ages and I conclude, I suck at it now. I coul dnot control my strength and direction anymore. I was very tempted to blame the lanes for my sucky bowling, but I knew the real problem lies with me. I'm weak now. i need to get stronger.

Saturday was spent rushing my report. 10 pages min. related to intermodal transportation. the result: an analysis on FedEx. i think I did a crap job. I submitted late and it's really a crap job. hah! But it's DONE!! :P

I managed to catch Wolverine. I like the show. I like the story. It's makes sense. It really does. hahaa. More abt the show will be at my Movie Site

Visitor from Finland

Today i had a mini gathering with a bunch of friends from YNP. But most imptly one of our fren from Finland is here in Singapore for exchange. And we are meeting up to bring her around. Kindda explored the Cityhall Suntec area today. There's just so much to show her, dun really know where or how to start. It's amazing how much u can show a fren from overseas, we ourselves are always finding it hard to find something new to do. hahaa..

Love the contradictions

Exams!

And now the end is near, and so i face the final curtain.

Yes exams are here! had my first paper today, I've answered the questions to the best I can. aka, the max of my crapping power. So this is it, exams have begun, 1 paper down, just 3 more to go.. 1 more report, and also work on FYP project.. seems like the semester is no where near an end.. well that's final year..

Swimming!!

I went for a swim just now in the pool at my place. I felt okay.. couldnt swim well cos my breathing is kindda haywire and messy. the chlorine is really making my hair stiff!! but it's alrite, less stress on my ankles is a good thing.

my dear is getting old.. haha!

It's dear's birthday. But not much was done today. more of the fun was actually done yesterday. we went to an indian restaurant over at siglap, with her sisters. the food was not bad, the place was quite nice. and the staff were frenly b4 they got too busy.. haha.. lack of capacity..

I kindda surprised her with a birthday cake.. I brought it to the restaurant earlier in the day.. she tot there was no cake, no present. So yah that part surprised her.

Handsome Suit

Ever hate yourself for being fat and ugly? This is a movie to help you live with yourself. Because the truth is not always wat it seems and a person's beauty is only part of a person, it's not all that person is.

The story revolves around an ugly person who has suffered with his looks for most of his life and is eager to search for a change. Handsome Suit is his saviour or is it??

I like the twist at the end of the movie, even though I was expecting it from the beginning. HAHA!!

7 out of 10, it serves it's full purpose as a comedy and teaches some good moral lessons, that's if you are ever going to pay attention to them.

Pictures


Official Website

The Gran Torino

I have not been a fan of clint eastwood, none of his previous shows did anything to attract me to the theatre. even this time when i watched it, it was totally cos i already watched everything else I wanna watch.

But I was glad I did, this was a good show. the acting was great. I just realised the asian actors in the show are 1st timers. kudos to them. The simplest way to tell I enjoyed the show is to actually feel affected by it. You would feel for the plight of the asians, the anger felt by the characters, the sadness.. it take alot to bring those connections thru.

The story revolves around a retired korean war veteran who worked in aford factory until retirement. He is a troubled man, troubled not only abt himself but almost everything around him. and yet somehow his neighbours who are the most unlikely candidates starts to change the remainder of his life.

8/10



Pictures






Official Website
The Gran Torino

The beginning of the end

it's the time of the semester when final presentations, reports, exams are just around the corner. I just completed 2 presentations today and that pretty much ends these 2 modules except for the final exams.. this reallyt akes a load of my shoulders, and yet when I turn around I see more deadlines lying ahead of me. Assignments and reports due within the next few days.. so there's more rushing to do.. I gotta keep the momentum going.

Last week I started my "jogging" regime, 1st session was monday, den somehow missed wed & fri. Supposed to go again today, but i'm simply to lethargic to even try. and my ankle, is giving me issues again. SUCKs!!

Knowing

I've been wanting to watch this show. It seems like it's exciting and kindda like a mix of "da vinci code" plus "next".. but watching this show I cant help but to wonder more abt why this movie was made this way rather than watching the movie itself. I started micro-analysing towards the end of the show and it seems every small detail in this movies is well taken care off to represent or mean something.

it is never said in the clear, but references and implications are inferred thru-out the show. and i think that amazes me.. and i started to wonder if that's what made it the US box office hit that it is.

It's kindda like a mockery of science and the glorifying of christianity. i shalt not say more, for more is less to enjoy..


I would give it a 7 of 10. cos I enjoyed watching it or analysing it.

Pictures



Official Website
Knowing

Departures

Academy Award® Winner for Best Foreign Language Film of the year, "Departures" is a delightful and sensitive journey into the heartland of Japan and an astonishingly beautiful look at a sacred part of Japan's cultural heritage.

The story revolves around a symphony orchestra celloist who is forced to make a career change by the circumstances, and somehow tumbles and fumbles into a very unique world of "encoffination". The lead actor portrays the struggles of working a well-paid and not understood job, and his relationships with the people around him.

A truly touching film that will somehow make you tear regardless how strong you are.

Not to forget Ryoko Hirosue as a main lead actress as well. She's still as cute as ever, despite being married with children.



Pictures







Official Website
Departures

Scary Night

Last night was ridiculously scary.

First I suddenly had a fever, 37.5. I took 2 panadols and started sweating like hell, den a drank loads of water and I got better. And I fell asleep.

I had this dream, it was dear and me going somewhere for breakfast. Initially we went to Ya Kun, somewhere. But I somehow got pissed off with Ya Kun and said I want to go somewhere else. Den we drove off, we were driving this huge mercedes and we got to this tight alley, like the ones behind my house. den 3 or 4 china kias were walking in the middle of the road. I was driving straight into them, so I horned and horned. most of them jumped out of the way except for one guy, he kneeled down to his side, and raised his arm as if to block the car. I jammed my brakes and the front of the car starts to dip down and then.. we smashed into that guy, but it was like smashing into a rock wall, the car flipped forward and the top of the car faced down and flattened. Some how me and dear were out of the car and fine. And that guy, just stood up and left. Then the rest of the china kias help us turn the car back up. the rest of the dream was a blurr...

It's just weird and scary!!

The Way to a Happier Study life.

The main thing that made my life better recently or say for this semester is that I've been to classes more regularly. Sometimes it's just so tempting to not go to school, cos no one really cares if you go or dont go. But here's the thing, if I dont go, I'll feel left behind with respect to the class stuff. It's not that I cant read up on my own or study from books myself. It's just so different, if you dont go to class, I can assure you, I WONT be bothered to go read up myself. And it's not just showing up in class, it's paying attention in class, even though sometimes the lecturer really likes to crap. Paying attention is actually half the work done, Idont even have to copy much stuff down, as long as I listen, it's more or less 70-80% gain when I review the notes. If I dont listen, looking at the notes will just seem so much tougher. Anyway, I think i'm getting into a rhythm for my school work, so I hope to keep it going.

I wish to think I have all the time in the world, but the world keeps reminding me that it's taking time away from me. And giving me less and less time. Why must we always be chasing after time? Time is relative, therefore we have to chase after time because some SMART ALECK started to move ahead of the rest of the pack eons ago. And becaused he moved, others follow, and the cycle goes on, and here we are chasing after a time which we will never see the end. Does anyone even understand wat i'm saying?

Duke-NUS medical School. It's a post graduate medical doctor degree which is open to all types of degrees, but you must have a degree first. It's an interesting option for me, to pursue a medical career is not something i've thought about, cos i've been shunning away from all-things-bio in my school life. My mum is encouraging me to pursue it, and dear is also saying she'll support me if I choose to do so. But here's the question, "Am I interested in that field?" That's a question i really dunno how to answer. How am I suppose to know if I like to do that when I've never done anything like it before?

but I think these are the part of it that attracts me,
the money,
the prestige,
the ability to help others medically.

and what scares me,
the toughness of getting in,
the toughness of the course itself,
the age i'll be if I eventually get to graduate,
the extra $$ I have to put in for this course.

How am I to decide?????

My way of Living MUST CHANGE!!

So far I've been living a very blessed life. There is nothing much to worry about except for myself. Most of the basic aspects of living had been taken care of for me, I do not have to worry about food, clothes or shelter. But yet, I'm still so lost as to what I shld be doing. How am i suppose to choose a path for myself? I do not know what i want for myself. What are the things I do know? I know I am not doing much with my life at this point in time, and i've not done much in my life thus far. Many people my age have experienced, so much more than I have. I feel I'm so poor in experiences.

I need to drag myself out of my slumber. I need to move. I need to act. I need to stop wasting my time. Cos there's not much time left for me.

Sustaining Rejuvenation

I've straighten out alot of my thoughts in the past month. I've tried to get myself more interested in what i'm doing, so I think I'lve gotten some results. So mentally, i'm improving my motivation, but physically, I feel like i'm imploding. Aches, sprains, nerve & joint pains, the list goes on. I just don't feel in shape, and trying to get into shape is just thougher than I thought. It's sapping me both physcially and mentally.

There's alot of work all pile up for me at this point in time, I have little doubt that i'll be able to do them, but I'm not sure if I caould finish them in time. Most of the time i'm just too tired to start doing. I've laid off PPS for a while so that i could spend more time on work, but sometimes it seems like i'm the only person who's bothered to complete the work. That kindda sucks!!

I've started using the calendar in my MS Outlook to organise my stuff. It has helped me alot, I feel everything is much more organised once I can see them list properly in a timeline. It helps me decide what to do first and what is more important. It's not as convenient as just writing in a traditional organiser, but it works no less.

The worst part of me now is basically my right ankle, it has been killing me ever since US, but in US it was just a sprain. It seems to have deteriorated to a damaged tendon or vein or nerve or something. I'll be getting it check at the school medical centre on either tuesday or wednesday. It's making me feel so paralaysed....

It's Time

This blog has not receive anything new to talk about for a long time. Now I think it's time to try to revive my blog activity.

This void inbetween is simply caused by a concurrent void building up in my mind. What is my future? What will my next course of action be when I graduate? Will I be able to graduate? When questions do not get answers, the void expands. This void is like a dark cloud lurking overhead, at any moment it can just engulf you and lead you breathless, choking, gasping for air. It's very difficult to clear the dark cloud that looms overhead, you need to think positively, avoid negativity and you need to self-motivate or self-hypnotise to keep yourself from feeding the void. It's difficult to do it when there's alot of negative energy around trying to make comparisons. Sometimes family & friends unknowingly, do it out of concern, not knowing that at that point, it's encouragement and motivation that's need, not pressure nor comparison.

I've been trying to withdraw myself from this vicious cycle which I have been whirlpooled into. Sometimes it just takes some believe to do it. I have been sceptical abt alot of help that has been given to me, either rejecting or just not believing in it. I know that i'm the only one who can bring myself out of this predicament, and yet I was reluctant to help myself.

Today, with whatever little believe I have in myself. I managed to pull thru a day at school with pretty good results, and not feeling too bad even though when it does not seem to be working out for me.

The day started off with a class of introduction to japanese studies, it's tough to bring myself to a class which previously I had given myself reasons to avoid it. Once you avoid it, it accumulates into a negating force pushing you away from it even further. Coming for this, I had to reassure myself, convince myself and believe in possibility of things just working out, eventually. I survived and I feel good abt it, even though I left the class without a project group. Which means I might have to do a whole research paper on my own however that did not sound too bad to me. That thought somehow had pretty good chain effects on me. I started thinking abt the possibility of exploring whatever subjects I wish to. I also began to wonder who I could turn to for suggestions or help, I thought if yi, and sms'd her immediately, that made me smile too. Its been a long time since I last contacted her, I'm just glad I did.

And I have a pleasant surprise just now, cos I received an email from one of my Jap Studies classmates, whom I approached earlier to request to join their group. She said they rethink their decision and thought it is possible to have me in their group. I was really happy to see that email, even touched! But I replied asking for more info abt what they would be doing, cos I dun wanna give up the chance to do some topic by myself. But I'm happy now. :)